Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

How to Know You’re with a Good Man | Girl Talk Tuesday

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One of my favorite movies is Tyler Perry’s “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”.  If you’ve never seen this movie, put it on your must watch list immediately.  There are so many life lessons, especially about marriage, that every woman needs to hear.  There is one line that has always stuck with me through the years since I first watched this movie.  That quote the inspiration behind today’s Girl Talk Tuesday post…  “Sometimes you need to be with a terrible man to know what good one feels like.

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

That’s been true not only in my own life, but several of my girlfriend’s lives.  Obviously not every woman will read that quote and feel like it applies to her.  I do, however, know that some of you will read this and your heart will start racing.  Your heart is pounding in your ears right now for one of two reasons:  1. You’re like me and you’ve lived that quote out.  You went through that dark phase, but now found your good, good man.  Or, 2. your heart is unsettled and this blog post title is speaking to you.  Either way, you’re in the right place, darling.

I’m not going to use this post to dive into my past dating life, but I am going to use my relationship experience to (hopefully) speak some truths.  Long story short, my relationship before Matt was bad.  I now refer to that time as the darkest period of my life.  trust me when I tell you, I’m speaking from experience when it comes to bad relationships.

How to Know You’re with a Good Man

  1. You have peace.  When you’re in the wrong relationship, you don’t have peace.  Period.  When you’re with a bad man, every part of your life feels unsettled.
  2. You feel happy.  If you’ve ever been in a truly bad relationship, then you know what it feels to be unhappy.  Sometimes the unhappiness is vague, like you can’t put your finger on why you feel the way you feel…  But the unhappiness is just constantly looming.  It’s as if you can’t escape it.  When you’re with a good man, you’re just plain ole happy.  For no good reason at all, your heart is full.
  3. You can sleep at night.  When you’re in a bad relationship, you oftentimes know it because you can’t sleep at night.  For me, that was because I had an aching feeling in my gut that not only was I with the wrong person, but I had a feeling that he wasn’t ever really where he said he was.  I knew somewhere down deep inside that he was lying to me about where he was all. the. time.
  4. Your friends and family actually like him.  This was a huge indicator for me.  My friends and family both tried to tell me over and over (and over) that I was with the wrong person.  I wouldn’t hear it.  I would rather listen to his lies than the truth everyone in my life was trying to tell me.
  5. There are no secrets.  Everything is out in the open.  Neither of you have anything to hide from each other.  Your lives are an open book.  When you’re with the right person, there’s no reason to read into their every action.  There is no reason to go through their phone.  You’re secure in your relationship and you have no reason to doubt each other.
  6. Or lies or manipulation…  When your relationship is built on lies, there’s about a 100% chance that are you’re also being manipulated.  You can’t see the truth right in front of your face because you’re being manipulated.  The lies become the truth to you.
  7. You don’t worry about other women.  A truly good man won’t ever try to make you feel jealous of other women.  He won’t tell you things to try to make you feel insecure.  He won’t tear you down.  He’ll make sure that you know that you’re the only woman for him.

Does any of this apply to you?  Maybe you’re already dating a good man, but he’s not the right one for you.  This is a common problem that I’ve seen time and time again.  Let me give this piece of advice…  If that is your situation, stop wasting his time.  Stop wasting your own time.  Don’t date someone just to keep yourself from being alone.  Being in the wrong relationship and staying in it only robs you of valuable time to be single and learn about yourself.  Women often stay in the wrong relationship just because she’s comfortable, waiting for something else better to come along.  Don’t do this.  Let him go, girl.  Let him be with who he’s supposed to be with.  Be single!  Trust me, it won’t kill you.  Chances are, you’ll make some really awesome memories with your girlfriends when you’re single.  And, you’ll meet your Mr. Right.

Leave a comment below and let me know if this post resonated with you and how.  I’ve said before, I love talking about relationships and y’all seem to love these posts which makes me so happy.


What I’m Wearing:

Velvet Bomber Jacket  (ON SALE 40% OFF!)  //  Hudson High Waist Jeans  //  Paul Mitchell Curling Wand

What’s It Like to Date You? GTT

150 150 Angela Lanter
Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Welcome back to the third installment of Girl Talk Tuesday the “Love Series”.  We’ve tackled first dates, ways that you’re ruining your relationship/marriage and now we’re taking a good long look at ourselves.

Ladies, let’s kick this off with one question…  Would you date you?  Or, if you’re already married, what’s it like to be married to you?

No, really.  No one knows you better than you.  No one knows all the deep, dark secrets.  With that being said, knowing what you do, would you date you?

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

One of my most defining moments as a 20-something young woman was when I asked myself this question.  I had to really think about my answer.  Here are some of the things I discovered:

  1. I wanted to change the other person.  I constantly tried to “fix” my boyfriends.  It took me many years to finally understand that you can’t change anyone but yourself.  No amount of nagging, crying, yelling or anything will really change someone.  You have to either accept who that person is or you have to move on.
  2. I always looked to blame an outside.  If an argument or problem arose, my first response would be to find someone to blame.  Rarely are relationship problems 100% the fault of only one person.  Recognizing your role in argument is a sign of relational maturity.
  3. I never asked for forgiveness.  I believe that a true apology needs to include asking for forgiveness.  “Will you forgive me?”  Those four words will humble you and, in a lot of cases, soften the heart of the injured party.  A healthy marriage consists of two people who are great at asking for and giving forgiveness.
  4. I was uncomfortable with myself.  I was constantly in long, serious relationships throughout my teenage years and my 20’s.  The very thought of being single freaked me out.  When I had no choice but to be single in a certain season of my life, I learned more about myself than probably every other season combined.  I had become so used to being known as someone’s girlfriend that I lost who I really was.  I took that time to grow closer than ever to God.  I spent time really thinking about what I wanted in a future husband.  I read so many marriage books.  Really, I figured out what I wanted out of a relationship, but it took me being alone to do it.  When I was in a relationship, I was distracted by who was consuming my time, which kept me from realizing what I really wanted in a partner.
  5. I’m stubborn.  My Mawmaw used to say that I’d argue with a sign post.  I didn’t want to date an argumentative person, so why should that be okay for me to act that way?
  6. I was a bad listener.  I’d like to think that I’ve improved my listening skills through the years.  I spent so much time thinking about what I wanted to say during an argument that I’d miss just about everything the other person said.  I now try to practice active listening as much as possible.

Now that you know my dirty laundry, I’d like to challenge you.  What’s it like to date you or be married to you?  Write down at least three completely honest things about you that you know to be true…  No matter how ugly those things are.  I want these to be things you know that you need to work on.  Being that this is a safe place, feel free to share those things in the comments below.  Sometimes your truth can help another reader discover something about their own self.


What I’m Wearing:

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater (ON SALE!!!)  //  Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans  //  The North Face Coat (similar)  //  Beanie (similar)  //  Fringe Scarf (my absolute favorite scarf I own!)  //  Over-the-Knee Socks (similar)  //  Ugg Boots

Shop This Look:

7 Ways You’re Ruining Your Relationship | GTT

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Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous.

Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis.
Angela Lanter – Hello Gorgeous.

Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous.

Welcome back to Girl Talk Tuesday.  Last week we kicked off GTT for 2017 with the first part of my new love series.  Today we’ll be looking at 7 different ways you’re possibly ruining your relationship.

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Love and marriage are my favorite subjects to talk about (other than fashion and beauty, duh).  I’ve read many books about marriage (see this post for some inspiration) and have now been married for almost four years.  I’m not a relationship expert by any means.  I just thought I’d shared some experience that I’ve gained throughout my relationships on what not to do.

Maybe you’ll see yourself in one or some of these love faux pas.  If that’s the case, my hope is that you will recognize these behaviors or patterns in yourself and snap out of it.

7 Ways You’re Ruining Your Relationship:

  1. You mother him.  Listen up, ladies…  Your man doesn’t need another mom.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t love on him or spoil your man.  What it does mean is that you don’t have to monitor his every move.  You don’t have to check up on him to make sure he’s doing whatever it is that he’s supposed to be doing.  He’s a grown man.  Let him feel and act like one.
  2. You nag him.  My general rule of thumb for nagging is this: asking once is expected.  Asking twice is a reminder.  Asking three or more times, you’re a nag.  I can hear you arguing with me through your screen right now saying, “But Ang, you don’t know my husband…”  Oh girl, I do.  I have one.  Sometimes I have to ask 10 times.  Other times, I pick my battles and let. it. go.  That’s the take away here…  Decide what’s really important and let the not-so-important stuff go.
  3. You use tears to manipulate.  This one is BAD.  Technically, any form of manipulation is bad, but turning on the waterworks to get what you want is the worst.  I’m not talking about crying when you’re really hurt.  I’m referring to those times when you aren’t getting anywhere in an argument or certain situation, so you resort to tears because you know you’ll get what you want.
  4. You whine when you don’t get your own way.  It’s never easy to see things not go your way.  The way you handle these situations says a lot about your character.  Being a sore loser of an argument makes things tough on everyone involved.  A gracious loser never really loses because she has a positive outlook regardless of the outcome.
  5. You talk bad about him to others.  This is my #1 no-no.  Never run to your mom or girlfriends with fresh wounds from a fight with your man.  You know why?  You’ll kiss and make up.  You’ll forgive, forget and move on with your life.  Others don’t share your same love for him.  They won’t forget the hurt he caused you.  They will keep a scorecard.  You and your man need to mutually select a handful of likeminded people who are your safe places to go to for counsel when problems arise.  These people need to always have your marriage held in the highest regard.  Your true friends will care more about your marriage than they will about your feelings.
  6. You talk down to him.  No one likes to be spoken to in a condescending manner or tone.  Yet, we find ourselves speaking more unkindly to those closest to our hearts than we would a perfect stranger.  Just because he’s your constant, doesn’t mean you suddenly get to disregard his feelings.  I listened to a podcast today about this book and it’s now on my must-read list.  Next time you start to speak or respond in a negative way, try to stop yourself and choose to find the positive in the situation.  Purpose to be sweet to your man, even when he doesn’t deserve it.  When you consistently make this choice, I can almost promise that it will eventually rub off on him.  Try returning anger with kindness.  The angry/bitter cycle has to stop somewhere.  Decide to have it stop with your kind words.  Bottom line: give him respect and he’ll give you love.
  7. You stop trying.  We as women often complain that our men worked so hard to get us, but now that they have us, they don’t try anymore.  If we’re being 100% honest here ladies, are we really still trying?  This is going to look different for all of us.  Some of us used to get dressed up and totally glammed when we were first dating.  Some of us spoiled our boys like crazy.  We found out what they loved and we did those things because we wanted them.  Basically, we loved them and pursued them by speaking their love language.  When we get comfortable in relationships, we get busy and life gets in the way.  The things that were so common in the beginning of your relationship now become the things we do on special occasions.  We don’t get to choose how someone loves us, but we can teach them how we want to be loved by loving on them.  Lead (love) by example, even when life gets in the way, and your relationship will flourish.

Please leave a comment below with a tip or two that you’ve learned to help prevent disaster in relationships.  Or if you have struggled with one of these points mentioned above, leave a comment and let me know.

Photography by Kara Coleen.


What I’m Wearing:

Lace Peplum Top (ON SALE 40% OFF)  //  Hudson Skinny Jeans  //  Steve Madden OTK Boots  //  Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis

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