1024 683 Angela Lanter

How to Stop Comparison from Stealing Your Joy | Girl Talk Tuesday

It’s my favorite day of the week: Girl Talk Tuesday.  I love diving in and talking about topics that we girls struggle with.  I’ve been wanting to tackle today’s topic for some time because it’s something I see most every woman in my life deal with: Comparison.

Girl Talk Tuesday Comparison is the thief of joy || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous

Com·par·i·son (kəmˈperəsən):  The act of representing as similar; to examine the character or qualities of especially in order to discover resemblances or differences; to view in relation to.

We all compare.  We do it when we shop, when we make decisions, when we have conversations…  Heck, when even do it when we date, although we swear we don’t.  Women treat comparison like it’s an olympic sport.  And some of us could medal in it a thousand times over.

There are situations when comparison is appropriate, sometimes even necessary.  But there are also many times when it’s harmful.  Theodore Roosevelt very famously said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”  Oh Teddy, right you are.  I would venture to take it one step further to say that comparison is the thief of much more than joy.  Comparison can also rob you of a healthy body image, security, friendships, self worth…  The list goes on and on.

We women learn to compare at a very young age.  I remember in grade school seeing girls with beautiful, curly hair and thinking, “If only my hair was curly like hers.”  Maybe you didn’t have stick-straight hair like I did, but I can guarantee there are things you can remember your much younger self saying “If only” about.  Maybe it was, “If only I was thin/smart/pretty/funny/outgoing…”

The comparing little girl grows up to become the comparing young woman in most cases.  “If only” my marriage was better, I had a different job, drove a nicer car, my kids were better behaved, I lost this extra 10 lbs…  The “If only’s” get more plentiful with age it seems.  We watched Anne of Green Gables last week and the constant theme was Anne wishing to be beautiful, without her famous red hair.  She wanted to be something, anything, that she wasn’t.

We were all created equal in God’s eyes, but here’s where things get interesting…  God didn’t create all of us the same.  We all are different and unique in our own way.  But we each have our own idea of what “perfect” looks like, and it almost never looks like the person who is doing the defining.  How boring would this world be if we were all looked, thought and acted the same?  There would be no variety, no special gifts or talents.  Holy Stepford Wives.

I’m so guilty of playing the comparison game.  I did it in elementary school and I still do it today.  I have an unrealistic expectations about who I am supposed to be as a person, wife and blogger.  The funny part is, the only person who puts those unrealistic expectations on me, is me.  I see what my peers are accomplishing and it makes me think that I’m slacking.  That’s where I’m wrong.  As Beth Moore (loosely) put it, we can think she (another woman) is beautiful without thinking that we’re ugly.  We can be happy for her successes without feeling like a total failure.  But yet we do.

We see the perfectly photoshopped figures of gorgeous women on the magazine covers and think to ourselves how terrible we look.  Instead, we should realize that no one really looks that way, without the help of a team of professional editors.  We see the perfectly decorated home on Pinterest and feel like an absolute failure because our home will never look that way.  We read about perfect marriages and think there is something wrong with us when we have yet another fight with our husbands.  Do you know the problem with all of this?  It’s that we would’ve never thought we had a problem at all if we hadn’t seen someone else doing things “better.”  That’s the problem with the internet and media in general.  They portray that you’re living this way, but you really should be living that way.  And we take the bait.  We let those images penetrate our thoughts and hearts.  We begin to see the way that others live/look/do things as the right way, and ours as the wrong.  That’s how we fall into the comparison trap.

Before social media, we had to be more intentional in seeking out ways to make ourselves feel constantly inferior.  Yes, we’ve always had the women at work or the gym who have the great figures.  But we didn’t know what every incredible interior designer’s home looked like at the click of a button.  We didn’t have the ability to see these perfect internet moms with their perfectly dressed kids.

So how do you stop it?  How do you get off the wild comparison ride that makes you crazy?  I’m still on it, personally, but I wanted to share some thoughts and practical tips that have helped me in some of my darker moments.

  1. Check yourself.  When the words “If only” (or similar) creep into your mind, stop yourself and think about it for a moment.  When I start on the downward comparing spiral, I try to stop it immediately and change gears.  I don’t want to waste valuable time and energy doing something that only leaves me feeling inadequate.
  2. Stay positive.  If I do find myself comparing and unable to shake it, I try to take control of my thoughts by considering the positive things about me or the situation.  We’re all unique and unique is a great thing.
  3. Do something about it.  There are times when we compare and it’s damaging.  But there are also time when we compare and it should be a wake up call.  If you’re feeling bad about your weight, get up and do something to get in better shape.  Feeling down about your career, take the necessary steps to do something to change that circumstance.  Instead of spending time and energy dwelling on what others have, spend it on achieving the goals you have for yourself.  Dwell on the negatives and they’ll consume you.  Get active and work towards the positives, and you’ll see results.
  4. Remember that comparing reaps no benefits.  You always lose by comparing.
  5. It can destroy relationships, and I’m not having that.  Have a friend or colleague that you secretly compete with?  Guess what…  There’s a good chance you’ll end up resenting that person, if you don’t already.  We see someone consistently doing better than us, compare ourselves and then we begin to resent that person.  We seem to forget regularly that we’re not all given the same gifts, traits or characteristics.  I wasn’t blessed with a beautiful singing voice.  Does that mean I should hate all my friends who can sing?  Of course not.  What we need to remind ourselves in these situations is that there is something we have been gifted with that others don’t have.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the moments when we’re feeling inadequate and insecure (read this post for more on that subject).  It’s so stinkin’ easy to think that the grass really is greener.  But as the saying goes, the grass is only greener where you water it.  So next time you start to compare, stop and think about why you’re doing it.  Is it something you can or should change about yourself?  Or is this a total waste of time and energy.  Don’t allow yourself to travel down the path of unrealistic expectations any longer.  A positive mindset is a choice.  Choose to see yourself for your positives, not for her (whoever she may be) positives.

What I’m Wearing:

150 150 Angela Lanter

Cyber Monday Beauty Deals

Cyber Monday is easily the best online shopping day of the year.  Today is the day to snag some of the best deals for the holiday season!

cyber monday beauty nordstrom sale || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous


Top Row:  Smashbow Eye, Lip & Contour Palette Trio ($29)  //  Estée Lauder Bronze + Glow Duo ($20)

Second Row:  iluminage Skin Rejuvenating Pillow (25% OFF)  //  iluminage Skin Rejuvenating Eye Mask ($26)

Bottom Row:  MAC Natural Flare Collection ($56)  //  beautyblender Duo $32)  //  Clarisonic Mia 2 (20% OFF)

You can’t go wrong with these beauty gift ideas for the ladies in your life.  I love receiving new beauty products as gifts.

Cosmetics make awesome stocking stuffers!  If you’re looking for a gift for under $25, this bronze + glow set is perfect.

Ulta also has some amazing Cyber Monday deals!  Use code: CYBERMON16 for $10 off your purchase of $50 or more.

The Urban Decay XX Vice Ltd Reloaded palette (so gorgeous!) is on sale for $32 + a free gift with purchase.

My FAVORITE Tarte mascara is part of a three piece set for only $19.

This amazing Laura Geller 3 piece set is only $18 and would make an amazing stocking stuffer or gift for a co-worker.

The Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector is only $38 + comes with a free gift.

My favorite exfoliator from Skin Food is 20% OFF.

In case you missed it, check out this post with the best current sweater and shoe deals.

Macy’s also has some great Cyber Monday beauty deals.  Some of my favorite skincare brands are on major sale: StriVectinDr. BrandtClarins, Bliss and Clarisonic are all included!

Shop This Cyber Monday Post:

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Easy 10 Minute Fall Makeup

Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous


Now that we’re transitioning from Fall into Winter, I wanted to create an easy, everyday look that any woman can do in 10 minutes or less. I partnered with Revlon to create this look using their New ColorStay™ Eye Collection and new Revlon Kiss™ Balms.


Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous

Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous

Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous


Brows: This is the first thing I check off my list when doing my eye makeup. Using Revlon’s ColorStay™ Brow Pencil in Soft Brown I start at the base of my brows and work my way out. This brow pencil has an angled tip, which helps for quicker, smoother application. The formula is waterproof and lasts up to 24 hours, which is a major bonus for me. There’s nothing I hate more than my brows wearing off throughout the day. Once I’m done filling in and defining, I use the attached spoolie brush to work the product through my brows. This allows for a more natural, even look.


Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous

Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous

Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous

Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous


Eye Shadow: I started off by applying the Praline Revlon ColorStay™ Crème Eye Shadow with the built-in, tri-tip brush on my lid and worked the shade up into my crease. Then I applied the Vanilla Revlon ColorStay™ Crème Eye Shadow to my brow bone to add a gorgeous highlight. These cream shadows are waterproof, glide on super smooth and are long lasting, up to 24 hours. They can be used as an eye shadow base or worn alone, like I did in this look, as they provide gorgeous color payoff.  Each ColorStay Crème Eye Shadow includes a built-in brush which makes application a breeze for women like me, who are always on the go.

PS- These cream shadows also double as a stunning highlighter for under the brow, especially the Vanilla shade.


Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous


Eyeliner: Using the Revlon ColorStay 2 in 1 Angled Kajal™ Liner in Graphite. I created a soft yet sultry cat eye. This eyeliner is amazing because it takes the stress out of application. How? Because this liner has an angled tip, which allows for straighter, smoother application. It also has an attached smudger brush to easily create a smoky eye. I simply applied the liner beginning at the inside corner of my eyelid and worked my way out, creating a wing. I kept my liner thin on the inside then built the thickness gradually moving outward. Then I used the smudger brush to smoke out the liner for a sexy cat eye. This formula is waterproof, which makes it double as a long-lasting liner that goes on smoother than traditional liner. Last, I applied two coats of Revlon’s Ultimate All-In-One mascara.


Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous



Since this is a daytime look, I paired my soft cat eye with a red tinted lip. I applied the Revlon Kiss™ Balm in Crisp Apple. In Fall and Winter, my lips tend to dry out, so this super hydrating formula is exactly what I need. The natural fruit oils make this the best smelling lip crayon I’ve ever used… I’m not even exaggerating. The juicy colors provide a gorgeous tint to your lips that will pair with so many different makeup looks, or a no-makeup makeup look. Plus they have SPF 20! I want to collect all 6 shades just to smell delicious and make my husband want to kiss me all day long… Now I get why they’re named Kiss Balms, lol!


Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous

Revlon Colorstay eye collection review tutorial || Fashion styles for women || angela lanter hello gorgeous



The finished look is perfect for daytime: work, school, whatever! Kick it up a notch (and turn some heads!) for nighttime by smoking out your lower lash line with the ColorStay™ Kajal Liner in Fig or Evergreen.

Leave a comment below and let me know if this is a look you would wear for daytime!

This post is sponsored by Revlon through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write about Revlon, all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.

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