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5 Truths about being Married to an Actor

5 Truths about being Married to an Actor/Ted Baker Cocktail Dress

5 Truths about being Married to an Actor/Ted Baker Cocktail Dress

Ted Baker Cocktail Dress

Ted Baker Cocktail Dress

Ted Baker Cocktail Dress

The first thing I get asked when someone finds out that I’m married to an actor is probably the most asked question in my entire life…  What is it like to watch your husband kiss other women?  Nothing like getting straight to the point, right?  I mean, no need for formalities when you’re ultimately heading that direction in your conversation with a perfect stranger anyways haha!  Needless to say, this post has been a long time coming.  I’m going to be 100% candid and completely honest about the good, the bad and the ugly…  I’m giving you 5 secret truths to what it’s really like to be married to a (hot) actor.

Let me preface this post with this:  I knew what Matt did for a living when we met.  I knew what his work meant and what a work day could look like for him.  I chose Matt and this life together, regardless of his job.  We all know the benefits to being a successful, working actor.  We know about the fame, the money, the glamour that we all see in the rag mags and on social media.  I’m writing this post to talk about what life is really like.  We are so incredibly blessed to have the lives that we do.  Matt gets to do what he loves for a job, and we never, ever take that for granted.  This post also isn’t for me to “vent” or complain.  I’m just answering the questions that I have been asked.  I’ve had emails from young girls dating boys in high school who want to be actors and just are looking for answers about how I personally deal with these things.

Okay, now that’s out of the way. Let’s get to the nitty gritty.

5 Truths About Being Married to an Actor:

  1. Location: You move.  A lot.  Being that I come from Ohio, the thought that actors had to move for most every job they took never crossed my mind before meeting Matt.  When you live outside of this world (Los Angeles/the acting industry) you never really think about where your favorite tv shows and movies are actually filmed.  The closest comparison I can make in terms of relocating would be that of a military family.  Case in point: two weeks after we returned from our honeymoon, we moved to New Orleans for Matt to film Star-Crossed.  Last summer we relocated to Mobile, AL while he filmed his latest movie.  Now we’re possibly moving again if his latest project gets picked up.  As his wife, I have no choice but to go where he goes.  I say that because I made the decision that when I got married, I would go where he goes.  Being together is #1 in my book.  I have no desire to live apart from him, so location is part of what I have chosen, as his wife, to compromise on.  Now, relocating to new places can be incredibly exciting.  I love discovering new places with my husband, but it can also be very overwhelming.  Moving to a new city (or state or country) and not knowing a single soul other than your spouse, who is working on set every day.
  2. Long Hours:  Another thing I never realized as someone outside of the Hollywood world is how much time goes into filming a tv show or movie.  Long hours doesn’t really begin to cover it.  There are days when an actor will be on set for 14-18 hours.  This doesn’t sound much different than some other professions, I know.  What is different is there are no set hours, ever.  It’s literally never a 9-5 day, or even a 7am-10pm day.  An actor’s day begin at call time and ends when they wrap what they need to for that day, whenever that may be.
  3. Kissing other Women:  Okay let’s tackle this one, because honestly, I know that’s probably what you’re reading this post to find out in the first place!  You know that feeling you get when you’re watching a movie or tv show and the two characters you love finally kiss for the first time?  You get goosebumps and butterflies and all of those warm and fuzzies, right?  Here’s the word that makes all the difference in the world within that question: characters.  You are actually watching two actors paid to play the part of a character that you have fallen in love with.  The fact of the matter is that you aren’t watching two real, actual people having a real, actual moment.  In reality, those two people may hate each other, but you’d never know it, because they are doing their job.  They are acting.  Behind the scenes, the reality to most love/kissing/sex scene is that it’s not comfortable for the actors.  They have to hit their marks, they have to be aware of lighting and make sure that their movement/placement is exactly where it’s supposed to be.  They have about 100 crew members watching their every move and most likely, they just want to get a good take so they can move on with their day on to the next scene.  It’s almost never as romantic and magical on set as what it appears to be when you see that same scene on your television screen.  I know this because A) I’ve talked to Matt and listened to his feedback B) I’ve spent many, many long hours on set and seen what things are really like and C) I have girlfriends who are actresses and have told me what it’s like for them in these situations.  Bottom line, is it fun to watch my husband make out with another woman?  Never.  Does it give me the warm and fuzzies when I have to see these types of scenes with him?  Absolutely not.  Do I get jealous?  No.  You know why?  Because Matt chose me.  He didn’t have to ask me out on a date.  Matt didn’t have to propose to me or even marry me, but he did because he loves me and wants to spend his life with me.  He comes home to me at the end of every work day and I love that I get to be his home.  Let’s be real, my family and friends were FREAKED when I first started dating Matt.  They were like, “Are you for real?” about the other girls thing…  But my mom was the first one to run to my side and be realistic about it being just a job.  In fact, she said, and I quote, “Well hey, things could be worse.  You could be dating a gynecologist!”  Haha, that’s one way of looking at it.  🙂
  4. Jealousy:  This isn’t specific to women married to actors.  Every wife in the world has encountered at least one situation in her life that gave her feelings of jealousy.  Here’s where we actor’s wives have it a little different…  Women all over the world have crushes on our men.  Think about that for one moment…  How would you handle being married to a man (say Ryan Gosling maybe?) and knowing that women all over the world fantasize about your husband.  You can say, “Oh, I’d be fine with it!  In fact, I’d love it!”  But would you really?  Would you want women to tweet your husband inappropriate things or send nude photos to him (not saying that does or doesn’t happen to me & Matt, I’m just making a point here)?  Or wait outside his hotel for hours to meet him?  I already addressed how I deal with jealousy in point #3 but this point is one that most everyone outside of this industry doesn’t ever realize from the spouse’s perspective.
  5. Rejection.  Another thing I never realized before meeting Matt was how much rejection is involved with his line of work.  You know when you go on a job interview for a position you really want (sometimes even your “dream job”) then finding out you didn’t get it?  It’s the worst, right?  I don’t have actual statistics to back this up, but I would say that the average actor doesn’t get approx. 95-99% of the auditions that he or she goes out for.  The reasons vary from you were too young, too old, too thin, just didn’t have “the look” or sometimes no reason at all is given.  As a wife, it’s extremely hard to watch someone say no to incredibly talented husband because you know how amazing he is.  But what you think doesn’t matter.  The one thing this town has taught me is how to be supportive because there will always be another audition around the corner and (most times) another no…  I have full faith that God shuts every door for a reason, and He has opened the doors for exactly where He wants us to be at exactly the right time.

I hope this post has given you a better look into the reality of what an actor’s wife’s life really looks like.  Again, no complaints here, I love my life with Matt.  I am married to the one person that God made just for me.  🙂


 

What I’m Wearing:

Ted Baker Azraa Dress (sold out); love this dress (linked several other gorgeous Ted Baker dresses below) //  Ted Baker Embellished Heeled Sandals  //  Forever 21 Fold-Over Clutch c/o  //  Anarchy Street Crossover Ring  //  Baublebar Statement Drop Earrings (similar)

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150 150 Angela Lanter

Saturday Six

All Saints Cargo Leather Jacket

All Saints Cargo Leather Jacket

All Saints Cargo Leather Jacket

All Saints Cargo Leather Jacket

All Saints Cargo Leather Jacket

Growing up, Saturday mornings were what I looked forward to all week long.  It was the morning that my mom and I spent sleeping in a little bit.  Mom would make breakfast- coffee and bacon were staples, and either french toast or a bulls-eye (leave a comment if you’ve had one before!)  Now Saturday mornings are like every other morning in my house.  When you work from home, your days tend to run together and there’s no real “weekend” feel except Sunday mornings with church.

This morning, I’m having coffee on the couch while Matt watches the Masters (we’re party animals, I tell ya) and I decided I want to kick off the weekend by talking about 6 things I’m loving lately…  Hence, today’s post being titled: Saturday 6.

I’ll kick things off with one thing I’m absolutely NOT loving, this cough I have.  Matt brought back a lovely little cold from Vancouver with him on Sunday night.  I was in full blown sick status by Tuesday evening.  If you follow me on Snapchat, then you’ve already heard my sexy, deep man-voice.

Now that you know how sick I’ve been, you know what the overall theme of what I’ve been into this week…  Tissues, NyQuil, you know, the usual lol!

  1.  Gilmore Girls.  I started watching this show while Matt was filming in Vancouver and now I’m 100% hooked.  I’m about halfway through Season 3 and I cannot get enough.  I’ve pledged to finish it completely before the series reboots on Netflix so I can be totally up to date.  I just went through the Dean split and I’m not over it yet.  I gotta say, at this point, I’m totally not a Jess fan.  Maybe he’ll grow on me?  I don’t know…
  2.  Ramen.  Whenever one of us is feeling under the weather, we order chicken Ramen from our favorite local spot.  If you’ve never had the real deal, trust me, the $0.27 Ramen packs from the grocery store just do not compare.  Our favorite resturant is Jinya Ramen and they have locations popping up all over the U.S. and some even in Canada.  If you haven’t tried them yet, be sure to look them up and go if you’re near one!  My favorite thing to order is Chicken Ramen with broccoli and thin noodles.  Matt is a Spicy Chicken Ramen and Tonkotsu White fan.
  3. Tim Horton’s Coffee.  My cousin, Susan, used to bring Tim Horton’s home to Ohio when she would travel back and forth from Montreal.  She would make it in the french press and it was heavenly.  I sorta forgot about how delicious it was until my week in Vancouver and now I’m totally hooked again.  Matt brought me back a huge container of Tim Hortons ground coffee and there’s no looking back to Folgers.  I love Dunkin Donuts coffee at home too, but it tends to be super acidic.
  4. This Sleep Shirt.  Because sleeping in flamingos makes me happy.  Also, $12 pjs make me happy.
  5. Spray Tans.  My dear friend, Crystal, owns Cheeky Tans here in LA and I’ve been so lucky to be able to get spray tans weekly which makes me feel a little more healthy.  Last weekend I needed a touch up tan but she wasn’t available, so I used Vita Liberata at home and got amazing results.  I used the mousse formula with the mitt on Saturday night and woke up on Sunday to a lovely, even tan.  I’m not keen on tanning myself at home (Crystal has spoiled me) but this product makes it super easy with very little fuss.
  6. Braids.  Duh.  These photos were taken on Matt’s one day off, while in Vancouver, that we spent seeing the city.  I recently discovered the secret to creating the perfect braided hairstyle that you can wear with hats.  I’ve always had a problem wearing braids with hats because my braids just fall out and look like trash throughout the day because of how many layers I have in my hair.  My creating a Dutch braid behind one ear and braiding along my neck hairline, my braid stays in place all day long (You can see the braid detail in the above photos).

What thing(s) you have been loving this week?  I love discovering fun, new interests from my readers!  Leave a comment below.  🙂


Wearing:

Caslon Long Sleeved Tee Shirt (similar)  //  Zara Striped Shirt; love this one  //  DSTLD Boyfriend Jeans  //  All Saints Cargo Leather Jacket  //  Vince Camuto Booties (similar)  //  H&M Wool Hat

Sizing Info:  Wearing tee shirt in size XS, Jeans in size 25 (sized down, they run big!)

Photos taken by Matt Lanter in Granville Island, Vancouver, B.C.

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150 150 Angela Lanter

Hello Healthy

Hello Healthy

Spring is upon us.  In just 16 short days, it will official.  I love Spring because I like to start fresh and this time of year always encourages me to do just that.  I love to “Spring Clean” and  started doing so a couple weeks ago.  I have cleaned out closets, drawers, nook, crannies, everything!  I’m organizing and purging and just loving life.

All of this cleaning has got me to thinking about my body, and how I’ve never really pushed the reset button on my life.  Spring seems like the perfect time to do just that.  Did you know that March is the national month of nutrition?  I know, I know…  Every month (and day for that matter!) is titled “National or International Day of” something or other anymore.  I just don’t think that it’s a coincidence whatsoever that they (whoever “they” may be) chose the month of March to be the month of nutrition.  This lovely month is also Endometriosis Awareness month, but I’ll save that for another post.

So what does hitting the invisible reset button in your life look like?  Chances are, it looks very different for different people.  For me though, it’s all about making better, healthier choices in my life.  It means making wiser eating choices.  It means picking a workout regimen/schedule and actually sticking to it.  It also means listening to my body and allowing myself to give it the rest and pampering it needs.  I used to not be able to survive without a solid 9 hours of sleep.  Lately, I’m lucky if I can get my butt in bed before 2:00 am and stay asleep past 8:00 am.  Overall, I’ve allowed the craziness and busyness of my life to dictate my health.  At the end of the day, there is nothing more valuable than our health.

Here’s my plan, I’m going to make my journey to a healthier me, a public journey for you to follow along with or even join in on.  I’m using my audience to hold me accountable to make better choices.  If you want to be a part of this daily change for me, be sure to follow along with me on Snapchat (angelalanter).  I’ll be posting what I’m eating and doing frequently to hopefully give you all some fresh ideas.

To kick off this fresh start of healthiness, here are some essential to get us off our butts and in motion:

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