In the past couple of years, I’ve heard of so many divorces. Many of those I personally know and many of those in headlines.
No one ever really gets married with the intention of divorcing, but yet according to the American Psychological Association, between 40 to 50 percent of married couple in our country end up divorced. Divorce is the worst for so many, many reasons.
Marriage has always been a topic that I love talking about and learning about. It’s something that I think we, as a country, don’t spend anywhere enough time or money investing into. We have to take a test to get licensed to drive a car, but when it comes to choosing a life partner, there’s little to no preparation involved (in most cases).
This blows my mind.
I mean, think about it. How many couples would be able to avoid heartache, marital problems and even divorce if they were equipped with the proper tools to do marriage well?
Today, I’m talking to my single ladies. Over the years of running Hello Gorgeous, I’ve received countless emails, comments and messages regarding relationship advice. Especially from women dating actors after reading this blog post…😊
I want to always serve my readers and be a good steward of this amazing platform God has blessed me with. So when I woke up with this topic heavy on my heart, I knew it was time to dig in with y’all about one of my favorite subjects: marriage. I could talk for ever and ever about marriage, so I’ll try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. Grab yourself a cup of coffee and let’s dig in, GG.
Let’s start at the beginning for all my single ladies.
To my single GGs
I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to be a single adult. I can so clearly remember having a deep desire for God to bring the right man into my life… and getting so impatient waiting for him in that season. But, let me just say that singleness is a gift.
Let me repeat that for you… Singleness. is. a. GIFT.
Here’s the catch: it’s a gift when it’s done right.
What does singleness done right even look like? Well, I’ll tell you what it doesn’t look like. It’s not partying it up every night or hooking up with random guys just because you’re feeling lonely. Being single is lonely, I hear you. But when you take full advantage of your season of singleness and use it to grow closer to God, it’s unbelievable what you will learn. You’ll learn so much about yourself and about God. You will look back and reference those lessons for the rest of your life.
A few years back, I wrote this post about what it’s like to date you and it’s still oh-so-relevant. If you honestly examine yourself and find that you wouldn’t want to date you, it’s time to get to work, sister. You can’t expect the man of your dreams to want you if you yourself wouldn’t want to even be friends with you, ya know? Maybe you’re super negative or really uncomfortable with yourself (which makes you uncomfortable to be around!)… Whatever the case, you can do some soul searching and identify which areas need work. This is the time to put in said work.
Try this: take time off from dating around to exclusively date yourself. Huh? Use this time to learn about what it is that you want out of life and a husband. Talk to God daily and ask Him for help identifying the areas you need to work on. While you’re doing this, examine your past relationships and look for patterns. What is it that you typically look for in a man? Have you been settling in the past just to keep from being alone?
If you answered that attractiveness is #1 on your list, tell me, how has that worked out for you in the past? Have you been in relationships for purely physical reasons? Or have you dug deeper and connected on a heart level in the past to only have that person become even more attractive in your eyes?
Story time: when I was in college and on a break from my longtime boyfriend, I was asked out by this guy I kept seeing at school who my cousin and I nicknamed, “Hot boy.” I meannnnnn, he was all that and a bag of chips. An Abercrombie model… You get the picture. Anyways, he finally asked me out for ice cream and the conversation was like watching paint dry. He was nice to look at, but man, he was a total dud. I couldn’t get out of Friendly’s fast enough. (Can we just talk about how sad we are that Friendly’s is gone?!😭) That was a life lesson and a half for me, lol.
Ladies, please hear this: You don’t have to settle for only part of the package deal when God wants you to have the whole package in a future husband.
Seriously. If I would’ve settled in the past with my ex before Matt, I would 1000% be divorced or the most unhappy woman alive. He was simply not God’s choice for me. I chose to ignore all the signs that he was wrong for me for so long and wasted so much time. I was like a stubborn toddler arguing over a toy. God was slamming every door shut on that relationship and I just kept sticking my foot in the door doing whatever I could to keep it open. Girlfriend, LET GOD SHUT THAT DOOR! I can guarantee that whatever he has for you after that door is shut is a million times better than what you’re throwing a tantrum over trying to keep.
Please, please, PLEASE use this season to draw closer to God. Connect with Him. Pray so often it becomes habit. Use the time you would spend dating to instead read and study marriage. There are so many great resources about marriage within the Bible and so many awesome books and podcasts that helped prepare my mind and heart.
Leave a comment below and let me know if you’d like an updated blog post about my favorite marriage books and podcasts.