So You Want a Man? My Best Advice for Single Ladies Who Want to be Married – GTT

So You Want a Man? My Best Advice for Single Ladies Who Want to be Married – GTT

In the past couple of years, I’ve heard of so many divorces.  Many of those I personally know and many of those in headlines.

No one ever really gets married with the intention of divorcing, but yet according to the American Psychological Association, between 40 to 50 percent of married couple in our country end up divorced.  Divorce is the worst for so many, many reasons.

Marriage has always been a topic that I love talking about and learning about.  It’s something that I think we, as a country, don’t spend anywhere enough time or money investing into.  We have to take a test to get licensed to drive a car, but when it comes to choosing a life partner, there’s little to no preparation involved (in most cases).

This blows my mind.

I mean, think about it.  How many couples would be able to avoid heartache,  marital problems and even divorce if they were equipped with the proper tools to do marriage well?

Today, I’m talking to my single ladies.  Over the years of running Hello Gorgeous, I’ve received countless emails, comments and messages regarding relationship advice.  Especially from women dating actors after reading this blog post…?

I want to always serve my readers and be a good steward of this amazing platform God has blessed me with.  So when I woke up with this topic heavy on my heart, I knew it was time to dig in with y’all about one of my favorite subjects: marriage.  I could talk for ever and ever about marriage, so I’ll try to keep it as short and sweet as possible.  Grab yourself a cup of coffee and let’s dig in, GG.

Let’s start at the beginning for all my single ladies.


To my single GGs


I’ve been there.  I know what it’s like to be a single adult.  I can so clearly remember having a deep desire for God to bring the right man into my life… and getting so impatient waiting for him in that season.  But, let me just say that singleness is a gift.

Let me repeat that for you…  Singleness. is. a. GIFT

Here’s the catch: it’s a gift when it’s done right.

What does singleness done right even look like?  Well, I’ll tell you what it doesn’t look like.  It’s not partying it up every night or hooking up with random guys just because you’re feeling lonely.  Being single is lonely, I hear you.  But when you take full advantage of your season of singleness and use it to grow closer to God, it’s unbelievable what you will learn.  You’ll learn so much about yourself and about God.  You will look back and reference those lessons for the rest of your life.

A few years back, I wrote this post about what it’s like to date you and it’s still oh-so-relevant.  If you honestly examine yourself and find that you wouldn’t want to date you, it’s time to get to work, sister.  You can’t expect the man of your dreams to want you if you yourself wouldn’t want to even be friends with you, ya know?  Maybe you’re super negative or really uncomfortable with yourself (which makes you uncomfortable to be around!)…  Whatever the case, you can do some soul searching and identify which areas need work.  This is the time to put in said work.

Try this: take time off from dating around to exclusively date yourself.  Huh?  Use this time to learn about what it is that you want out of life and a husband.  Talk to God daily and ask Him for help identifying the areas you need to work on.  While you’re doing this, examine your past relationships and look for patterns.  What is it that you typically look for in a man?  Have you been settling in the past just to keep from being alone?

If you answered that attractiveness is #1 on your list, tell me, how has that worked out for you in the past?  Have you been in relationships for purely physical reasons?  Or have you dug deeper and connected on a heart level in the past to only have that person become even more attractive in your eyes?

Story time: when I was in college and on a break from my longtime boyfriend, I was asked out by this guy I kept seeing at school who my cousin and I nicknamed, “Hot boy.”  I meannnnnn, he was all that and a bag of chips.  An Abercrombie model…  You get the picture.  Anyways, he finally asked me out for ice cream and the conversation was like watching paint dry.  He was nice to look at, but man, he was a total dud.  I couldn’t get out of Friendly’s fast enough.  (Can we just talk about how sad we are that Friendly’s is gone?!?)  That was a life lesson and a half for me, lol. 

Ladies, please hear this: You don’t have to settle for only part of the package deal when God wants you to have the whole package in a future husband.

Seriously.  If I would’ve settled in the past with my ex before Matt, I would 1000% be divorced or the most unhappy woman alive.  He was simply not God’s choice for me.  I chose to ignore all the signs that he was wrong for me for so long and wasted so much time.  I was like a stubborn toddler arguing over a toy.  God was slamming every door shut on that relationship and I just kept sticking my foot in the door doing whatever I could to keep it open.  Girlfriend, LET GOD SHUT THAT DOOR!  I can guarantee that whatever he has for you after that door is shut is a million times better than what you’re throwing a tantrum over trying to keep.

Please, please, PLEASE use this season to draw closer to God.  Connect with Him.  Pray so often it becomes habit.  Use the time you would spend dating to instead read and study marriage.  There are so many great resources about marriage within the Bible and so many awesome books and podcasts that helped prepare my mind and heart.

Leave a comment below and let me know if you’d like an updated blog post about my favorite marriage books and podcasts.

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  • Jennifer Jacob

    I needed God to be my priority first before I could meet my husband. When I was talking to other guys, I realize how sad I was and how badly I wanted to work it out. After each failed attempt, I realize that God won’t bring me my husband until my priorities were changed. Once I put God as my number one priority, he brought me my greatest blessing, my husband. We only been married for 2 months but I’m so grateful that I chose God’s will.

    This post definitely relates to my past! Reminds me of how far I’ve come. Thank you for this! My favorite book so far is “The Four Laws of Love” by Jimmy Evans. Great marriage book.

    • Angela Lanter

      I love that so much, Jennifer!! Congratulations!!

  • Amen!!!! So well said. I’m not even single but see so many gals rush and ignore the red flags. And honestly, many do my friends tend to look past the bad and only see the good. Until it’s too late. I’m passing this on to some of them!!

    • Angela Lanter

      Yay! Thank you, Brandi!

    • You have to trust God in your singleness i have been single a long time but i want to wait on God for the right guy and not going back to tje old jabits God loves us more then anything in this world getting closer to God and trusting has jealed and helped me wait for Gods right tining for the right guy foe me

  • Loved this post! It really spoke to me. Thanks for sharing ❤️

    • Isabella

      Thank you so much for this advice I have honestly been struggling with this recently and this was very helpful thank you so much. ??

    • Angela Lanter

      I’m so glad! Thanks for reading!

  • Carissa Gregory

    Thank you Angela for this post. I have been struggling with being single for years now. It had been very challenging to keep a positive attitude on “waiting for the right guy”. I know it’s a part of God’s plan for my life, but you have opened my eyes to the importance of using my time right now to get closer to God. Thank you for putting so much emphasis on that point! Your entire post was very encouraging! ?

    • Thanks for posting. It’s nice to know it’s not just me struggling to wait for the right man. Especially at age where all my friends are having babies!

    • Angela Lanter

      I’m so glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!

  • Amy snyder

    Oh Angela!! This is soooo what I needed right now!! I’m just finally starting to feel like maybe possibly getting back in the dating scene! I’m a single mama and it’s hard to imagine bringing someone around my son!! I feel like maybe I still have some work to do!

  • Your suggestions on books and podcasts would be great! Thank you for the post! As always I see God in you and your words of advice. Thank you for all you do!

    • Angela Lanter

      I can definitely get a list together! Thanks, Kelley!

  • You know I’m finding it so hard right now, I’m 33 and I’ve been single 8 years. I am trying and making a conscious effort to trust God for the right someone and refuse to settle(why I’m still single). But it doesn’t help that I can hear my bio clock ticking in the background going “if you don’t find someone soon you’ll never have kids.” I remain upbeat and positive most of the time about it but I just feel so lonely (especially now with this lockdown stuff). Anyway thanks for the blog post 🙂 made me feel like maybe it’s not just me who feels(or in your case felt) like that..

    • Angela Lanter

      It’s definitely not just you, friend! Keep trusting. You’ve got plenty of time!

  • Clarisa Chetty

    It was both an awesome and inspirational read.❤️

  • Emily Headrick

    This hits home! Thank you for using your platform for God! Im 27 and have always wanted to be married , but knew I didn’t want to settle for someone God didn’t have planned for me. I look at women like you and think “I definitely want to hold out because God has an amazing man for me!” Being single is hard, but I think being married to the wrong person would be harder. I will thrive in my singleness until God brings the man he wants for me, if he has one! Thanks again for sharing this! <3

    • Angela Lanter

      I love this so much!! Thanks for sharing, Emily!

  • Veronika M

    I agree with the fact, you have to love yourself before anyone else can. When you dont then your behaviour shows and you are not attractive to guys. No matter clothes, make up etc.
    Time alone is great for hobbies and learning what you want is life and how having a husband fits in.
    Also when you stop looking that is usually when it happens 🙂

  • Erin Reardon

    I would love to hear about some marriage podcasts!

  • This is such an important topic to talk about, especially among Christians. Sometimes it seems that as a woman our only true goal is to be married. I know I struggled with this a lot in my 20’s. But I’m so thankful that God is in control of everything. I’m still single and I just turned 33 earlier this month, but I’m in a happy place. I know that God knows my desires and He will meet them on His time. So I can now live a good life, building friendships, serving and getting to know me more and more everyday! But also preparing to be the best wife I can be one day. Thanks for sharing!

  • Erin Core

    This is great advice for anyone single or not! I am not single, but hope to have a long lasting marriage if and when that time comes. I trust in God’s timing.

    • Angela Lanter

      We all need to! His timing is always perfect!

    • Veronica

      Love this. Going thru a breakup that for a time longer than needed I kept sticking my foot at the door. Until I realized that I can only try to stop a process for so long. Need to go back to Church and trust God. Thank you for your posts, love your content. And your so lucky that you meet your person and the fact that it doesn’t hurt to look at him is a bonus, lol. And of course, he’s even luckier to have found you.

  • OriginalSoullessDragon

    I am single, and will forever be that way. And, I’m honestly not bothered by it even though I am only in my 30s. I’ve loved a total of 3 times in my life. The first, was dying from heart disease and ended up taking his own life after a three month coma. The next two cheated on me, multiple times, till I gave up hoping their promises of changing were actually going to happen. After the last one, I realised Love just wasn’t for me, so I have vowed to be forever single.

    • Angela Lanter

      Proud of you for knowing exactly who you are!! Thanks for sharing, friend!

  • Wow love this so much

  • Mindy Diegel

    Oh Ang, thanks for this!! There are times its discouraging being the single lady. I’ve done the online dating and all the other things and it just wasn’t for me in the long run. I’ll find him when God is ready for me to find him. As the stories go tou find him when your not looking, and I stopped looking so maybe there is hope for me yet.

  • Very well said! ?? You always give great advice! I’m of single, but if I was, I would definitely follow your advice!

  • What a great post and sound advice. I am divorced(he cheated) and went through a Long season of dating the wrong men in the years after.
    At first, I threw myself into the Word, but slowly creeped farther and farther away as time went by, until I was completely immersed in the world….Satan’s temptations became too enticing.
    Fast forward almost 10yrs, I was in a 2.5 yr long distance relationship…I had been trying to force into the one I Soo much desired, ignoring all the red flags. God finally had to Slam that door shut soo hard(the only way He knew I would listen…another cheater), for me to finally walk away from it.
    Interestingly, God had already introduced me to my now fiancé, during those last few months of the previous relationship. We have an amazing 3, soon to be 4yr old son.
    My hearts desire has always been to be a mother and a wife again(I was a full time step mom in my previous marriage, but my ex cut me out of their lives during our divorce).
    A very wise woman and mentor of mine, your Aunt Gina told me many years ago that God will give us our heart’s desires when the time comes, we just have to Trust Him to do it. He knew I needed to work on myself…sifting my heart and mind to bring me to the place He felt I needed to be. Then, bam, out of what seemed like no where, came the man God had hand picked for me! He was working behind the scenes all those years.
    Your insight is enlightening to All women, even those not technically single. Even as engaged or married women, we should always continue to work on ourselves to be the women He has called us to be.

    • Angela Lanter

      It’s so so true!! Man, she is a wise woman, isn’t she? ?

  • Angela,
    Oh my gosh. I cannot express how awesome this was to read! Thanks so much for these encouraging words. I needed to hear this today. ?

  • This is so so important!! I loved reading this even though I am married. I used to so many comments about how picky I was and how I needed to date more but I never let it get to me. I knew what I wanted in a man and the things I wasn’t willing to compromise on. I refused to settle and I met the most amazing man and married him! I did get married a little later than a lot of people from my area but my marriage is stronger and happier than most of the people I know! Do not settle!!

  • Thank you so much for this! This was very uplifting and made me feel like that there is time for me to find the right man and not too feel so “lonely” and connect to myself first thank you so much for this uplifting article really helpful!

  • I’m not super religious but I did grow up Catholic. I also recently went through a terrible breakup. I lived with this man, I thought he was the one, we talked about getting married, the whole 9 yards…and then it was like he flipped a switch and started treating me so poorly. I moved out, this isn’t how I pictured my life to be right now but I think taking the time to date myself is the perfect advice.

  • Tracy Meldrum

    Beautiful analogy! It’s very true we keep shoving our foot in the door! Let it close. Wise words!! Such words are so helpful in it every day lives too! Work, friends, you name it!
    Always love your writing ✍️

  • Couldn’t agree more! I had so many friends who were CONVINCED that life didn’t begin until marriage and it has been sad to see them so disappointed when it wasn’t all they had dreamed it to be. Once they got married, they realized that they had missed out on a lot of really great things that can happen when you’re single. There’s a lot of personal growth that can happen as a young woman learning to stand on her own!
    It’s truly my hope that the young women coming after can enjoy that time instead of dreading it. Go on vacations with friends, enjoy having sole possession of the remote, jump out of that airplane! Living life before marriage makes it all that much better. And as a bonus, you get to choose to stay with the person you marry instead of feeling like you have to because it’s the only life you know. What a boost!

  • Kelly Morse

    LOVVVEEE THIS! So much wisdom here. Love you and your precious heart, Angela ♥️

  • I love this so much! I remember praying for specific traits in a guy before having an interest in anyone, but a main prayer was that God would help me become the woman that he’s praying for too. I’ve been talking to this guy from one of our churches for the last 10 months simply getting to know each other. As of a couple days ago we are officially courting! We’ve spent so much time getting to know each other we now know what we want, we’re just going through the steps now. I truly believe seeking God FIRST has helped us get to where we are now. Thank you for putting this out there for us. Such great advice! ❤️

  • Been there, done that.. for over 3 years now dating exclusively myself, loving god, loving myself and being very happy.. until recently that I started to feel that ping of loneliness very loud and clear and all that questions and worries suddenly back in my life.. will I ever meet somebody for me.. I’m nearly 33 now, maybe I’ll stay lonely forever.. and so I start to think more and more maybe I SHOULD settle. For a nice guy I maybe dont love but can spend the live with.. It feels more and more stupid to wait for true love. Like in a movie when the old lady talks about how many men wanted her when she was young and beautiful but she waited for the one until she got old and now she will dye alone and regrets all the times she said no..

    • Angela Lanter

      I don’t think it’s ever stupid to wait for true love. You deserve every bit of happiness, friend. Don’t sell yourself short. ❤️

  • Stephanie Loverde

    This is a completely hypothetical question but if cloning existed could we just clone Matt and make the cloned version our husband? How would you feel about that? I’ll make a serious comment too but I just wondered how you would feel about this funny, random thought lol.

  • Bonnie Frankenstein

    I believe that God wants me to be single. I say this because I have only ever met bad men and the one and only guy I ever truly loved left me for another woman but I was certain we’d get back together but he passed away at an early age. I was engaged to him for 9 months before he broke my heart. The last guy I was with ended up being a drug addict who after realizing that staying with him was enabling him decided to leave and he syalked me and my family so badly even harassing my sister who was dying of uterine cancer (she passed away in January 2017 and she was only 40) but my entire family ultimately had to move from the only place we ever called home (in Beaver County PA which is a suburb of Pittsburgh) and move all the way south to Lady Lake Florida. He since has been in prison for a few years due to trying to choke an emt on route to the hospital when he had overdosed on heroin and they gave him narcan and he then complained of chest pain so they were taking him to the hospital. After we moved here i met someone who i found out later was an atheist and tried so hard to shake my faith. I tried to help him to become a believer again as he was raised a methodist but after so long and getting tired of being treated like possession i left him. Then I met a guy at church and I thought what could possibly go wrong with that situation and he turned out to be a very serious liar saying that he was in the navy seals when he wasn’t in the military at all which my grandfather fought in WWII and I don’t stand for stolen valor (I have a very interesting story about this that I think Matt would appreciate, id like to tell him about it knowing that his grandfather was a USS Indianapolis survivor.) but besides that I found out that he was an alcoholic. I have decided to give up on love. Some people i believe are just not meant to find that kind of love but I struggle with loving myself as well. I had a very traumatic childhood and have severe depression and ptsd from it. I am also disabled and don’t get out much so that doesn’t help matters. Nobody wants to date a 43 year old disabled person. I have accepted that I will probably be single for the rest of my life but I don’t know how to love myself fully. Its hard when even your own family wants nothing to do with you and in fact my aunt (my moms sister) told me that i was an embarrassment to the whole family (and she is supposed to be a very devoted Christian.) this is how it’s been for most of my life and I pray all the time for help with accepting myself for who I am but the negative voices constantly tell me I am just a waste of space. Any advice on how to not feel this way would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post i haven’t opened up about this in so long. Anyway thanks for this blog and please email me back and I will also tell Matt the story about how pearl harbor had a direct effect on my family. Thank you again for your posts i truly enjoy watching them and you guys on Amazon

  • Girl preach! So much truth soup here. I’ve been single for my whole life. I’ve dated here and there but no serious relationships and these past 14 months since I’ve been growing closer to God have really made me enjoy being single rather than depressed. I know God has the perfect mate for me. It’s all in His timing and my readiness. I can not wait for that time, until then I’ll keep praying. Did you have a list of the books and podcasts? I can’t seem to find it and I’d love to be prepared for that time to come. ?? thank you for your insight.

    Blessings to you and yours!

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