What’s It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday

What’s It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Welcome back to the third installment of Girl Talk Tuesday the “Love Series”.  We’ve tackled first dates, ways that you’re ruining your relationship/marriage and now we’re taking a good long look at ourselves.

Ladies, let’s kick this off with one question…  Would you date you?  Or, if you’re already married, what’s it like to be married to you?

No, really.  No one knows you better than you.  No one knows all the deep, dark secrets.  With that being said, knowing what you do, would you date you?

One of my most defining moments as a 20-something young woman was when I asked myself this question.  I had to really think about my answer.  Here are some of the things I discovered:

  1. I wanted to change the other person.  I constantly tried to “fix” my boyfriends.  It took me many years to finally understand that you can’t change anyone but yourself.  No amount of nagging, crying, yelling or anything will really change someone.  You have to either accept who that person is or you have to move on.
  2. I always looked to blame an outside.  If an argument or problem arose, my first response would be to find someone to blame.  Rarely are relationship problems 100% the fault of only one person.  Recognizing your role in argument is a sign of relational maturity.
  3. I never asked for forgiveness.  I believe that a true apology needs to include asking for forgiveness.  “Will you forgive me?”  Those four words will humble you and, in a lot of cases, soften the heart of the injured party.  A healthy marriage consists of two people who are great at asking for and giving forgiveness.
  4. I was uncomfortable with myself.  I was constantly in long, serious relationships throughout my teenage years and my 20’s.  The very thought of being single freaked me out.  When I had no choice but to be single in a certain season of my life, I learned more about myself than probably every other season combined.  I had become so used to being known as someone’s girlfriend that I lost who I really was.  I took that time to grow closer than ever to God.  I spent time really thinking about what I wanted in a future husband.  I read so many marriage books.  Really, I figured out what I wanted out of a relationship, but it took me being alone to do it.  When I was in a relationship, I was distracted by who was consuming my time, which kept me from realizing what I really wanted in a partner.
  5. I’m stubborn.  My Mawmaw used to say that I’d argue with a sign post.  I didn’t want to date an argumentative person, so why should that be okay for me to act that way?
  6. I was a bad listener.  I’d like to think that I’ve improved my listening skills through the years.  I spent so much time thinking about what I wanted to say during an argument that I’d miss just about everything the other person said.  I now try to practice active listening as much as possible.

Now that you know my dirty laundry, I’d like to challenge you.  What’s it like to date you or be married to you?  Write down at least three completely honest things about you that you know to be true…  No matter how ugly those things are.  I want these to be things you know that you need to work on.  Being that this is a safe place, feel free to share those things in the comments below.  Sometimes your truth can help another reader discover something about their own self.

What I’m Wearing:

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater (ON SALE!!!)  //  Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans  //  The North Face Coat (similar)  //  Beanie (similar)  //  Fringe Scarf (my absolute favorite scarf I own!)  //  Over-the-Knee Socks (similar)  //  Ugg Boots



  1. Sylwia Faal
    / 3:29 AM

    Wow another great post.I would never think to look at myself like that if I would not read your post.It’s a great idea ☺.
    Hmmm where to start
    1- I’m a person who often worry about everything to much,even small things. And instead of enjoying my life am always worry . So I think I need to work at that ☺
    2- It’s hard for me to say NO to other if they want something from me which is not always good for me and instead of making me happy, making me sad cause some people wanna just take advantage of my good heart. My husband often telling me that i think too much about others and not about myself and my own good.
    I definitely need to work at that.
    3-Hmm what next.
    My confidence. Am a very shy person and sometimes it’s hard for me to talk with someone even though I love to talk and I love to make others laugh.Only my closest friends know me from that site.I know that am not stupid but sometimes I thing that maybe people would not like to talk with me and if they do then what am gonna say.
    So I need to work at my confidence ☺
    So that’s my story.
    Thank you for this great post it was fun to look at myself from different perspective.
    Can’t wait to read you next post.
    Have a lovely day dear Angela.
    Kisses ???
    Ps:sorry for my English I have learead my self i never had english at school so it’s not that great yet ☺
    There is a problem with posting on your site Angela that’s why I post it here .

    • Sylwia Faal
      / 3:35 AM

      The last sentence was from fb . I wanted to try whether it’s really working again and I have put whole my post from fb.
      Finally it’s working which is great as I was trying to post it from yesterday. It’s good that everything is back to how it was before. Take care Angela can’t wait for your new post ?

  2. Annabel
    / 9:26 AM

    Wow. This post is really making me think about myself. I’d never given thought to what it would be like to date myself and I had definitely NEVER considered dating myself (a person just like myself). I think I believe I would think it would be boring. So does that mean I’m boring? Huh. Thank you for writing about this. I will go home and do this exercise which I believe will be very helpful! Looking forward to next week 🙂

  3. / 6:59 AM

    I absolutely love this series. So much truth & food for thought in here. This was really a blessing to me today. Thank you!

  4. Risha
    / 11:00 AM

    This is a great thing you’ve written, and it’s really got me thinking…
    1. I’m loyal. I don’t like letting go of relationships, so I’m inclined to hang on and fight for them when things get tough.
    2. I’m selfish. In my closest relationships, I want them on my terms and this is often a source of conflict.
    3. I’m generally a forgiving person. I hate unresolved conflict, so when it’s asked of me, I am usually quick to extend forgiveness. I also choose to let go of anger and bitterness in situations when a person hasn’t asked forgiveness, which can be good and bad. Good, because it keeps me from hanging onto petty differences and problems that often wreck relationships; bad, because sometimes I overlook things that really should be addressed and/or don’t really let it go but just stuff the hurt deeper.

    I’ve just found your blog and love the space you’ve created here and the message you’re putting forth. Looking forward to more!

    God bless!

  5. Marion
    / 9:55 AM

    Hi Angela !

    1) i’m sensitive and i think that sometimes it can be difficult for my boyfriend because when we dont agree on something or if there something that bothers me i dont say anything i keep everything “inside” , i just keep my mouth shut and i stay in my “bubble”
    im not the kind of person who s gonna be yelling or crying during an argument and it can be very hard for my boyfriend because i just stay quiet and i dont say anything
    the only reason is because im actually too sensitive and having arguments really scares me
    i dont know if it makes sense, but i think my main problem is that i have to learn to tell people when im sad or hurt instead of just pretend that im fine when im actually not

    2) i have an illness (endometriosis) and even if i try to live as a “normal” person its not always easy, im more tired than other people , i often need to rest and everytime we plan to go somewhere i need to make sure ill have my painkillers, or make sure i can rest, sit down etc
    all the treatments , medications, operations are part of my life, part of who i am, and im so glad i found a man who really understand me and really do his best to make my life easier and who is really taking care of me without making me feel that im different

    3) i had to move to england to live with my boyfriend (im french) and its been difficult because im very close to my family
    so my boyfriend had to accept the fact that everytime i have a week off i go back to france to spend time with my family or they come visit us
    im lucky he really understands that i need to see my family often, and that is so important for me

    voila !!

    I hope you re having a nice Sunday 🙂

    • Vivian
      / 11:36 PM

      Wow, I wish I could keep quiet during arguments!! Nothing keeps me pumping than a screaming argument.. I can’t just let go!! But am asking the Holy Spirit for guidance and help because it’s better to master your emotions. You’re getting it right by not responding, but you shouldn’t bottle it up.. When you’re both calm and rational, you can bring up the topic again and try to resolve it

      • / 5:33 PM

        Agreed! Take a beat to think about what’s been said before emotionally responding and saying something you regret! 🙂

  6. Heidi a page
    / 9:27 PM

    I definitely have learned that you need to love yourself. Relying on the other person to make you “happy” is just not healthy or going to work…. Ever! It must have been awful being the boyfriend that I needed next to me 24/7. Sorry Paul xo
    I became a different person with this one and actually allowed him to treat me bad, I never set the mark. I learned that setting the mark, laying down what your expectations are right away is crucial to your power staying where it belongs…. With you. Allowing my ex to take my power broke me badly but I imagine that sickly it built him up, temporarily… Ha ha sucks!

  7. Erin Reardon
    / 10:18 PM

    1) I’m also super stubborn and look for someone to blame for a situation
    2) I’m an okay listener, but I disassociate a lot!
    3) I overshare lol!
    4) I intimidate guys (which I find weird because I think I’m like a baby Hahahaha) I guess because I’ve always been single and done what I wanted and worked hard to achieve that thing. I never needed a man to be with me to achieve my goals.
    5) I don’t like my body/face/voice. I would never tear down another human for being themselves but for some reason I’m my own worst enemy…
    6) I’m not confident in myself because when I have been in the past, others have called me bossy and proud and have put me down. So now I just stay quiet about my accomplishments in hopes that no one will put me down to begin with.

    That’s felt really good putting it all out there! Maybe now that I’ve written these down I can work on them and refer back to this post in a while!

    • Jenny Franco
      / 9:45 PM

      Ummm excuse me but Erin, are you and I the same person??? Seriously…this is 💯 ME! I get you. I have a little room for improvement.

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Hello Gorgeous, by Angela Lanter