Why I Hate to Love Sex and the City

Why I Hate to Love Sex and the City

Why I Hate to Love Sex and the City

Why I Love/Hate Sex and the City Why I Love/Hate Sex and the City Why I Love/Hate Sex and the City Why I Love/Hate Sex and the City

In my experience, there are three types of women: those who love Sex and the City, those who hate it and those who have never seen it.  Which camp are you in?

My most commented post on Hello Gorgeous to date is my review of Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life and I thought it would be fun to write a post dedicated to another cult classic tv series.  This felt especially fitting having just recently visited NYC for Fashion Week, which became so familiar to us SATC viewers through the eyes of Carrie Bradshaw.

For those of you who love SATC, I could feel your dramatic gasp over my blog post title.  You’re thinking, “How on earth could you possibly hate this show?!”  Then, those of you who hate it are thinking the exact opposite.  If you’ve never seen it before, you’re surely wondering what all the hype is about.  So, let me explain…

I’ve seen every episode (some multiple times) and both movies.  There’s something satisfying about getting lost in the world of four adult women who never really have it all together, ya know? Not to mention, the shoes.  Oh, for the love of the SHOES.  Also, I enjoy the cast arrangement because it feels like The Golden Girls, which I love so much.  But when you dig a little deeper, that’s when my love turns into hate.

I’m going to solely focus on Carrie Bradshaw’s messy, unstable, irresponsible love life.  Because, if we’re being honest, her love life should be a character all on it’s own, it’s such a major part of the series.  We’re introduced to Big in the pilot, so naturally he has a looming presence throughout the entire series.  In all reality, the show is male obsessed, with most every storyline being about a man (sex is in the title, duh.) Big is painted as this sexy but mysterious man that Carrie just can’t shake.  She’s so drawn to everything about him that she throws all caution to the wind.  I understand that her addiction to Big is realistic for a lot of women.  I get that need to be with someone being so severe, so overwhelming that you’ll take them any way you can get them.  What I don’t understand is Carrie going back again and again and again when it was never good with Big from the beginning.  Always settling to be his side chick.

My biggest disappointment of all can be summed up in one word: Aidan.  Oh, Aidan.  In this case, the good guy did finish last.  I was so sad for him.  Honestly, the cheating almost made me hate Carrie.  Her total lack of regard for his heart broke mine.  Aidan was so good for Carrie.  So supportive, so calming and so very loving.  He was everything Big wasn’t.  He didn’t have Big’s money or charm, but that’s what made him so perfect for Carrie.  He grounded her.  But that wasn’t enough.  She wanted the bad boy.  Aidan was too normal for her.  So she threw it all away for a man that repeatedly broke her.

Don’t even get me started on the Russian.  Worst storyline and love interest ever.

We see her end up in the exact same place she began six seasons prior…  With the man who never cared enough to give her any type of commitment.  Oh, but he would marry the model, don’t you know.  Six years later, he’s willing to date her.  Six YEARS.  We’re not talking high-schoolers here, folks.  We’re talking about a middle aged man taking six freaking years to get it together.  In those six seasons, we see her chase after him, wreck his marriage and then wreck her own engagement.  We’re led to believe that this big city writer is progressive, forward-thinking and yet, she can’t do without the bad guy.  The one who just kept treating her like trash.  If we all followed Carrie’s example, we’d end up with the jerk who treated us like trash, just sayin’.  I married my Aidan, which is probably why I feel the way I do about this character.

End rant.  I’m very passionate about relationships and marriage, in case you couldn’t tell lol.  Listen, I’ll always enjoy Sex and the City.  I’ll still watch and re-watch old episodes and enjoy them for what they are.  I’ll love every fashion moment, every shoe shopping experience and every inappropriate Samantha comment.  I just can’t get down with Mr. Big.  I’ll forever be an Aidan fan.  And based on the second movie, so will Carrie.

I know, I know…  It’s just a tv show.  But it is fun to chat about with other fans.  Leave your comments below and let me know: were your Team Big or Team Aidan?

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Ramy Brook Pants| Boohoo Tee | Badgley Mischka Heels | Clove & Revel Bag |Photos by Kara Coleen |Styled by Audrey Brianne |

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28 Comments

  1. Brittany Blackburn
    October 18, 2018 / 8:19 PM

    I’ve seen very small pieces of episodes. I’d say I’m in the hate it camp. I love your look!

  2. Melanie
    October 19, 2018 / 6:18 AM

    I think we feel the exact same way. I love the show, but I want to girlfriend Carrie and tell her she deserves better!

    • Billie Chesser
      October 20, 2018 / 8:23 AM

      I have such opinions about this. Here is my take on the matter, everyone says that she deserves so much better than Big, he treated her poorly , like trash, but lets look at it from Big’s ex wife’s point of view. Do you think she thinks Carrie deserves better or do you think she feels ghey deserve each other and are two peas in a pod? I love Carrie to death, but does she deserve better? Didn’t she treat Aiden like Big treated her? She not only slept with a married man and wrecked a marriage, but she also cheated on her finance. That speaks on her moral compass on many levels as much as I love her. At the end of the day Aiden was the better man , for sure, but not for her, She didn’t deserve him, she is best fit for Big. Carrie most certainly does not deserve better than Big. She deserves Big. In the second movie, she once again proves this. I have a hard time seeing any other side as much as I try because I love her so much. Maybe that is why I love her so much. I love her despite her questionable moral compass and mistakes. I am very opinionated about women that will sleep with a married man, being married for 11 years and so very in love. I can’t think of anything lower and I think that is where my view stems from.

      • October 21, 2018 / 4:17 PM

        I agree! That’s why I touched on her cheating with Big on his wife. No one ever really talked about this!

  3. Grace Elizabeth
    October 19, 2018 / 9:50 AM

    Hi Angela, love that look and hope you enjoyed NYC!! I’m a die hard New Yorker and I consider myself to be in the Live LOVE and breath SATC camp. Totally get where your coming from and understand your point of view, but I have to defend my girl Carrie a little bit, I can tell you being a single gal in the city in your 20s (a bit older for Carrie) has its crazy times and its complications! To me it feels Carrie goes back to Big every time because of the connection between them and each time she thinks maybe he’s matured emotionally and we see her putting effort into the relationship constantly. When they first met they both had a lot of growing up and maturing to do be able to work together as a couple, and it was those experiences and relationships they had apart from each other and the ones they had together that eventually molded them into people who could live happily together, not quite effortlessly, but continually working on their relationship together. (Clearly I am team Big lol!)
    Aidan, he was the good guy, a perfect guy, just not for Carrie. I don’t blame her for not being able to marry him, Aidan is simple and Carrie is complicated. She shouldn’t have had an affair with Big while she was still with him but we all make mistakes and choices we regret, she wasn’t mature enough to face Aidan, but she’s not perfect. And in the end, Aidan was happily married and had children and a life in the city with his wife.
    As far as the storyline always revolving around men, this was a thought I also had! One of my favorite moments in the show is when Miranda loses her patience at lunch and yells at the girls for not able to have a single conversation not discussing men, despite being strong, intelligent women. The show definitely tries to touch on issues that women experience being single and in relationships from STDs, cheating, marriage, divorce, difficulties with getting pregnant, even money struggles, – you name it! It’s always silly and humorous and just reminds me that things happen, nobody is perfect, not every relationship works out, and not to take life too seriously!
    Sorry for the longest response ever but I’m clearly very passionate about this show! Been loving your blog and your most recent videos!

    • October 19, 2018 / 10:55 AM

      Grace! I love your take on the show! This is why I love this community so much, it’s such a fun way to hear other perspectives and learn to see things a different way.
      One thing I have to say about Miranda, I love that she was this strong, independent business woman, but hate that she was made out to be the dud of the group. Why can’t a woman be career-minded and also be fashionable and fun? You know what I mean? 🙂

    • Billie Chesser
      October 20, 2018 / 8:25 AM

      I have such opinions about this. Here is my take on the matter, everyone says that she deserves so much better than Big, he treated her poorly , like trash, but lets look at it from Big’s ex wife’s point of view. Do you think she thinks Carrie deserves better or do you think she feels they deserve each other and are two peas in a pod? I love Carrie to death, but does she deserve better? Didn’t she treat Aiden like Big treated her? She not only slept with a married man and wrecked a marriage, but she also cheated on her finance. That speaks on her moral compass on many levels as much as I love her. At the end of the day Aiden was the better man , for sure, but not for her, She didn’t deserve him, she is best fit for Big. Carrie most certainly does not deserve better than Big. She deserves Big. In the second movie, she once again proves this. I have a hard time seeing any other side as much as I try because I love her so much. Maybe that is why I love her so much. I love her despite her questionable moral compass and mistakes. I am very opinionated about women that will sleep with a married man, being married for 11 years and so very in love. I can’t think of anything lower and I think that is where my view stems from.

  4. JeniLee Brazauskas
    October 19, 2018 / 5:50 PM

    I’m team “Aidan was too good for her”. She was a self centered brat. She and Big deserved each other!

  5. Nikki
    October 19, 2018 / 9:10 PM

    I’m team Big ONLY because I feel like she would have been bored with Aiden as they did life together. Yes, he was “good” for her but at the end of the day, love shouldn’t be about who is “good” for you. It’s about who makes you feel those butterflies, and I don’t think Aiden ever truly gave her butterflies. Let’s be honest, if Carrie was going to marry someone, it would never be someone who was just “good” for her.
    P.S. I’m a SATC LOOOOOOVER

    • October 21, 2018 / 4:15 PM

      True! However, ending up with the guy who treated her like trash then left her at the alter…

      • Jessica
        October 26, 2018 / 1:56 PM

        He didn’t leave her at the alter. He freaked out bc it was his third marriage and the wedding was getting bigger than them and he wanted to know that it was him and Carrie. THat it was about the two of them and not what the wedding had become. Carrie at first didn’t even want the big wedding until that Vivian Westwood dress (By the way my least favorite of all the dresses she tried on and that ugly bird thing on her head..). They were so happy just getting married at a courthouse. And look, ge knew she loved those love letters and even though that wasn’t him, he retyped all of them bc he knew she valued them. The show would have been boring if she just was happy with big and they didn’t have issues. And let me tell you, a lot men in NYC do have the Peter Pan complex which makes it hard for women to find one that wants to settle down. Yes Aidan wanted that but like burger and the Russian, he wasn’t meant to be with her. My favorite guy is Steve. I think he is salt of the earth, sweet guy who turned the biggest cynic into a believer that relationships do work. They were as opposite as opposites come and even though they made him cheat in the movie (which made me furious) he still was such a good guy. Now if we want to talk about mistakes with the show we can talk about the 2nd movie which was awful…

        • October 31, 2018 / 2:50 PM

          Man, I love Steve so much! I agree, the cheating storyline made me so upset too!

  6. Jess Callaghan
    October 20, 2018 / 3:58 PM

    I love the show and am Team Aiden all the way!! So sweet and charming!!

  7. Ainsley Bollom
    October 26, 2018 / 8:42 AM

    You should do more of these!

      • Jesse
        October 26, 2018 / 7:56 PM

        Yes! I love this!!

  8. Sara
    October 26, 2018 / 9:00 AM

    Another blog I follow wrote about this same thing . My two cents … Carrie didn’t deserve Aidan … she would’ve done nothing but break him like she kept breaking herself over BIG! She never let herself heal after a relationship she just kept jumping into the next one… but always holding on to BIG … and I firmly believe BIG would continue all his bad behaviors if the show and movies continued. Throughout the whole series he was of poor character. In real life I know God can redeem anyone and anything . I just didn’t see any redeeming moment in BIGs life. Lastly, I’d like to add that your marriage gives me hope that my Adian is out there too!

    • October 26, 2018 / 9:31 AM

      I believe your Aidan is out there, Sara! 🙂

  9. Chandra
    October 26, 2018 / 1:05 PM

    I’m team neither. I thought she should of ended up with someone totally new and different instead of the disastrous cliche of a typical romantic comedy. And I think it’s laughable to apply thought and logic to matters of the heart. You love who you love despite who the person is, as long as he’s a descent person. I think the first movie was based on that premise when even Miranda made some stupid list on pros and cons on whether to get back with Steve who incidentally cheated and made a mistake himself. But he’s still a good guy is he not? Logic and reason is thrown out the window when it comes to love as long as you maintain some sort of balance. Yes, if Carrie was my sister or friend, I would tell her she can do better. However, I would support her and try to hold my judgement because everyone makes mistakes.

    Sincerely, Die hard SATC fan.

    • October 31, 2018 / 2:46 PM

      Love your thoughts so much! So good!

  10. Jessica
    October 26, 2018 / 1:47 PM

    I live in NYC and the show was a major reason i loved it so much. Carrie has referenced the city as her one true love and i love that the show shows how important your friends are at the end of the day. Yes she went back to Big time and time again but like Charlotte said, they were each other’s soulmates and men are just these fun things that come into their lives. You have all aspects of how women look at relationships. Personally i relate to Miranda, the guarded and blunt woman who doesn’t want a man dictating her life but learns it can be a wonderful thing. Samantha who treated men like they were disposable (much like men can do to women and Big did to Carrie). Charlotte who wanted the fairytale and then Carrie who like many of us women want what is not best for us bc we can’t get a complete grasp on the relationship and it leaves us feeling as if the problem was us. Aidan would have always been to vanilla for Carrie. I loved him but he didn’t finish last, he ended up with a fellow furniture maker and had a baby. Carrie and big knew each other. And like so many men, when we finally feel like we have closure over a guy or moving on, they have a sixth sense to come back into our lives. I think the show was a way for us to see all different angles but at the very core of the show it was about how strong of a bond and important our friendships are. Lastly if you look at most shows that women watch, relationships are the main focus. Maybe because tv people know we like that sort of thing or they think that’s all we think about. SATC should make women feel empowered. The women loved their careers and independence, they saw their friends as family more than friends, it showed how hard heartbreak can be but as women we are resilient and can bounce back from anything, the struggles of starting a family, and my favorite, just how amazing the NYC is. I will forever love this show and i am team BIG.

    • October 31, 2018 / 2:49 PM

      Love your response, Jessica! You have great points and I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. 🙂

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