Earlier this year, I opened up about my struggle with postpartum depression and anxiety in this blog post. Many of you have continued to reach out over the past several months to check in on me, to share your own stories or even to ask for a little guidance. I was so nervous to talk about such a private part of my life in such a public way, but it actually turned out to be something significant in my healing journey.
This past week at home in LA, I followed up with my doctor to check in on my PPD and anxiety. It was a great appointment. I left his office feeling encouraged and best of all, positive. We decided that now is not the right time for me to stop my medication. Come this Fall, when our travel slows down and our life is being lived in one location, we’ll connect again and create a plan for me to come off of it.
I’ve said this before, but prior to this mental health experience, I had so many opinions of medication. I now know how naive I was. It’s not my place to pass judgment on ANYONE for the journey they’re on or the treatment they need. Mental health is something we feel that we need to be ashamed of or need to hide, but any other type of health issue we feel completely different about. It’s as if we feel that we ourselves are to blame for our mental health, but if we get a cold, or worse, cancer, that’s outside of our control, and there’s no shame in it. I wish so much that we could erase the stigma surrounding mental health.
Okay, I’m off my soapbox, let’s get back to my update, shall we? I am myself again. Sleep is no longer an issue. In fact, my doctor and I both agreed that my problems stemmed from the insomnia. Had I nipped the sleep problem in the bud early on, I doubt things ever would have gotten as bad as they did for me. You know what they say though, hindsight is 20/20.
Now that my sleep is back on track, I have very little anxiety. Sure, I’ll have an anxious day or moment here or there, but I’m not consumed by it. The anxiety disappears quickly, which is an answered prayer.
Do I feel that the medication changed me or my personality? Not at all. I’m myself 100%. Matt nor I have seen a difference in my personality or behavior. The one thing I have noticed is an increase in PMS. For the first time in my life, I now get pretty moody those first few days before my period. My period has also changed a bit since weaning/medication, but I’m not positive which is to blame for that shift.
My prayer is that my story will continue to reach mama’s out there who are struggling with PPD. That they will read my words and know that they aren’t alone. ♥