Today’s post is written by my very best friend, Megan Wayman. I asked her last week and asked her to write a special post for Valentine’s Day. She’s been married for several years now, and is also a Christian counselor so who better than to give us girls some marriage tips?! She intended this post to be for the married girls regarding the topic of sex, but she also has a few wise words for single ladies too!
Hello Gorgeous!
First, I would like to put a disclaimer on this… I am married. My husband and I made a covenant before God almost six years ago to be faithful to each other, to love each other no matter what and have lots of sex. Sex is a good thing when your married. If you are not yet married, this entry may not be for you yet. I would encourage you to hold out, wait for your soul mate, have sexual integrity and purity. Once your married, DO IT UP! Moving on…
Today is Valentines Day and maybe it’s just me, but I want to have incredible sex tonight! I’ve already thought about it several times this morning… So all day I’ll be paving the way for when my hubster gets home. I want him to be proud of me for all I accomplish today and I want there to be no hold ups, like a mountain of laundry in the middle of our bed, or grimy kids who haven’t napped or bathed all day or a ridiculous amount of dishes in the sink, and I definitely don’t want him coming home to a wife, still in her yoga pants, coconut oil still in her hair, who hasn’t looked in the mirror all day!
I want romance every day, but today especially. Sometimes romance is harder than you thought it would be. I don’t think I’m alone when I say a regular, exciting and consistent sex life is something you gotta work for. I am very blessed to have an awesome pastor who actually preaches on the importance of sex in marriage over the pulpit and I’ve been to many seminars and read lots of books on the subject of marriage and romance. I’m certainly no expert, but I once heard it said, you study what you want to be good at and that’s so true. So here’s a few things that I am learning along the way (some of these points were taken from a seminar I attended on Valentines Day last year called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, highly recommended!)
Ladies , your husband needs your respect. Even if he doesn’t always deserve it. Remember we all fall short and screw up, he’s no exception. Our husbands are commanded by God to love us and we are commanded to respect them. A common misconception is we sometimes feel like, I’ll respect my husband if he’s doing a good job loving me…. That’s not what the scripture says. We need to respect whether he’s loving or not. This is a hard one for me personally… Easier said than done, right? I’m with ya girl. Pray up! The Lord will deal with him, when you do your part, and there’s no one else I would rather have fighting my battles and working in my husband’s life than God.
So back to romance, don’t be lazy. Desire leads to arousal which leads to sex. Love your spouse enough to do things you might not want to do, like the laundry, the dishes, that uncomfortable lace thing that might as well not be there, the sweet love notes that remind him why you couldn’t live without him.
Ok, could we just talk about foreplay for a minute… I can’t stand when we treat sex like an appointment on our busy calendar. GUILTY. Don’t ask, just go for it! And most importantly, take your stinkin time… What’s the rush? This may be aimed for the guys a little more than the ladies… They have tendencies to rush “into” things long before we’re ready Down Under. (If you know what I mean.) Encourage your spouse to take their time, savor the moment and make it last. Ladies, feel free to lead by example and show your man how to take it slow… I’m sure he’ll be grateful.
This one is super important, be private about your sex life. I am completely guilty of bragging to my dearest girlfriends from time to time when I got lucky and if my husband were to brag to his bros at work about the night before, I would go postal. So don’t do that. It’s not very classy.
Finally, be exclusive. God designed marriage for one man and one woman, not multiple partners. If your not married yet, this one is especially for you… What you might view as casual or even if you are in a committed relationship and think you’re in love, wait until you’re married. Believe me, I know this is hard, but you don’t know how your defrauding your future spouse and what those “casual” sexual encounters are doing to your heart. Don’t go into your “Happily Ever After” with sexual baggage. Don’t settle for anything less than the best. God has a perfect plan and a purpose for each one of you reading, that is beyond your wildest imaginations. Seek Him.
Ok, so I’ve got the steaks marinating, dishes done, house cleaned, kids bathed…wish me luck on getting some awesome action tonight. If you’re married, I hope the same for you!
Happy Valentines Day!
Megan Wayman is 26 years old and has been a Christian her entire life. She was raised sleeping either under a church pew or a pool table at her dad’s pool hall. She’s married to Paul and together they have Layla- 3 1/2 years old & Wyatt- 2 years old. She’s a stay at home mom but also works part time in the financial services industry. She’s a NANC counselor who’s passionate about being the best wife & mother she can be. She lives in her Chucks. Her favorite marriage books are “Sheet Music” & “The Excellent Wife.” Comment and let Megan know your thoughts on her post!
Agreed. I'm a pastors wife and I talk about this with other women. Something that should happen more in the church. Great post!