Girl Talk

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous
How to have a better day girl talk tuesday angela lanter

GTT: How To Have A Better Day

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

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You ever just have one of those days?  C’mon, you know what I’m talking about.  One of those days.  The kind where you know very early on that you’d be better off if you’d just crawl back into bed and say, “Screw it all.”  Yep, I knew you’d had one before.  That’s because we all have.  Yesterday was sort of that way for me.  Except the suckiness of the day just kept mounting as the day progressed.  It wasn’t the worst day of my life, but it was still one I would rather forget.

I shared a little bit about my day on Instagram last night and realized that this topic would make for a great Girl Talk Tuesday post.  I love an encouraging post or comment, so when I have an “Ah-ha moment” I always want to share with you in case there’s someone out there who needs to learn from my experience.

Let’s chat about having a better day…  Basically, my tips for how to turn a bad day around.

Identify the cause.  Is the world out to get you today or are you really just upset with someone and you’ve misplaced your frustration?  Determining what the root of the problem is will help you figure out how to go about fixing it.

Check yourself.  We’re girls, which means that {sometimes} our moods are the result of our hormones.  Please note: I said sometimes.  If you do happen to be PMS-ing, take that fact into consideration.  Then go buy yourself a box of chocolates.

Accept that some things are outside of your control.  Things are going to happen that we can’t do anything about.  No matter how controlling we are by nature, you can’t control it all.  You have to accept that fact and let. it. go.

Change your mindset.  A negative mindset will never result in a positive outcome.  Listen, I’m not naturally a positive thinker.  I get feeling like life isn’t all roses and rainbows.  However, when I set out to think positive, I like myself better and so do other people.  You are a more pleasant person to be around when you’re positive, and guess what?  Your day will always be better when you have a better attitude.

Be thankful.  Thinking about my blessings in life always lifts my spirits.  Thinking about the things I used to pray for, and now seeing how God breathed life into those dreams is humbling.  Talk about heart overflowing with joy when I look at the husband and baby girl I prayed for before I knew Matt even existed.  Gratitude softens your heart and your mood.  When I’m thankful, I’m joyful.

Encourage.  When I’m lacking in an area, I find that pouring that very need I have into someone else is so much more fulfilling that getting my own need met.  Wow, that was confusing, Ang.  Here’s what I mean: if I need encouragement and instead of focusing on my need, I choose to encourage someone else, my need doesn’t seem so big anymore.  Luke got it right when he said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Plan for a good day before it starts.  Have a plan in place to start your day out right.  My day is better when I start it better.  Let me know in the comments below if you’d like to see a post about my tips for starting your morning off right.

Hey girl, you got this.  Now let’s go out and kick this week’s butt.  After all, we’re in this together, girlfriend.

Photography by Kara Coleen.

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

GTT: 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

According to Merriam-Webster, social media is defined as: forms of electronic communication through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content (such as videos).  Sounds attractive, right?  I mean, communities created to share our ideas and personal messages seems like a fun way to spend your down time.  And yet, we find ourselves being inundated with politics, sad news and downright nasty comments when we do something as harmless as log onto Facebook.

Have you been in a perfectly good mood, then looked at social media and found your mood shift towards the negative?  I sure have.  Whether it was a harsh comment directed towards me, or a negative post that someone felt justified in sending out into the social universe.  Some days I find myself feeling the internet does more harm than it does good.  Obviously, that’s not the case, but man, it sure can feel that way.  You can read something online that will leave you feeling sad, depressed, anxious and sometimes hateful.

What gives?  How do we overcome the bad that’s all over the internet?  I want to share my practical tips to overcome the negativity.

  1. Pay attention.  Have you been noticing a negative shift in your mood when you’re on social media?  Perhaps you feel jealousy over someone’s perfect Instagram life.  Or maybe you can’t stand reading even one more political post.  Recognize if your bad mood is being driven by what you’re consuming online.
  2. Take a break.  If you do find yourself feeling down or negative, cleanse!  Take a social media break.  Delete the apps off your phone.  Make it harder to access.  And choose a friend to help keep you accountable.  See if a break helps improve your tude.
  3. Remember it isn’t all real.  When reality tv came on the scene, we began to believe manufactured situations to be truth.  The same goes for social media.  I bet my right foot not a single one of the gorgeous accounts you follow online is someone’s real life.  None of the Pinterest moms really have it all together.  You know why?  Because no one is perfect.  We’re all flawed.  We all fall short.  But guess what?  That’s the beauty of life.  We’re all these imperfectly perfect women just trying to live our best lives.  Somewhere along the way we were fed the lies that we had to live up to the Pinterest-perfect lifestyles we see online, and we believed it.  We conveniently forgot it’s not realistic.
  4. Quit playing the comparison game.  Comparison really is the thief of joy (read my post here on this topic.)  We women tend to compare everything we have, do and are to others.  I believe this dangerous game we play has been going on since Eve was in the garden.  Social media has only magnified how big our flaws really are.  Instead of enjoying the beauty we see in what other women are creating online, we find ourselves feeling down because we can’t do what they’re doing.  We seem to forget that we all have gifts and talents.  We only see that someone online is living their life better and prettier than we are.
  5. Establish boundaries.  You know that a certain person or account that you follow that leaves you feeling bad about yourself?  Unfollow them!  Do you find yourself getting wrapped up in comment wars with people you don’t personally know and will never meet?  STOP IT.  There’s no excuse for behaving badly in real life, so there’s absolutely no excuse for behaving badly on the internet.  Thumper said it best in Bambi, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  That person online who irks the crud out of you?  Regardless of how many followers they have, how much money they appear to have, whatever excuse you are using to justify your rude remarks…  They have feelings too.  They are human, just like you.  Publicly posting a nasty remark online doesn’t make you look better and ultimately, it won’t make you feel better either.Set up boundaries for yourself.  Commit to following only the accounts that make you feel good.  Comment only when you have something positive to say.  Be the change this world so badly needs.  Choose to see the good, instead of commenting on the bad.

I’ve teamed up with Olay to encourage you to find the good in social media.  As always, if I encourage even one of my Gorgeous Girls, then I count my work as successful.  Comment below with any suggestions you have to staying positive on social media!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Olay. The opinions and text are all mine.

GTT: How to Successfully Work from Home

The last month or two, I’ve been able to arrange my work and personal life into more of a groove.  It’s been a real struggle finding our new “normal” since having MacKenlee.  Finding balance in all the craziness that comes along with parenthood is no joke.  There have been days that feel as though I’m running on a hamster wheel.  I’m running and running, making no progress, but I’m afraid to hop off this crazy wheel.

Now that we’re +6 months in, we’ve been able to get a bit of a handle on what our daily life should look like as a family of three.  Want to know how I got a handle on it all?  Where I decided was the first place I needed to dig in?  Read on as I share my secret to a successful day.  These tips are good for anyone, whether you need to be more productive at the office or wiser with your homework and study time.

If you have ever worked from home, you know how easy it is to get distracted.  If that distraction isn’t bad enough, let’s throw a baby into the mix and see how much you can get accomplished.  Hint: not much at all.  You think, “If I throw in one load of laundry, then…”  My days all began to consist of “If only’s” and “Thens.”  They began to take over my days.  I would start so many projects, then proceed to get distracted by the 150 things I had going on all at once.  That all changed the day I cleaned out my office.

A Clean Office:  Huh?  Yep, you didn’t misread that.  Sounds too simple, right?  I don’t know about you, but I can’t focus in a messy space.  If I sit down to work at my desk and see piles of mail or mounds of unopened boxes, my mind drifts constantly until I start working on one of the messes staring me in my face.  When my workspace was clean and clear from all clutter, I cut out my environmental distractions.

Another major distraction?  My cell phone.  Of course I need to have it available while working.  When I’m not using it or expecting a call, I turn it on airplane mode.  This prevents me from picking it up and checking messages, social media, etc.  If airplane mode isn’t an option, then turn it to silent and turn your phone over so you can focus, checking for missed calls every 10 minutes or so.

The worst distraction of all?  Email.  You may not have the luxury of shutting it down, but if you do for short periods of time, it could greatly promote your productivity.  This is especially true if you get desktop email alerts like I do.  When I log out of my email to focus on my task at hand, it keeps my eyes and mind focused on my project.

Put away any other distractions.  This is me really putting my stuff out on front street…  I pick my split-ends.  It’s a real problem for me.  I get distracted and see a split-end and before I know it I’ve been sitting there for who knows how long, picking at my stupid hair.  I know that if I’m sitting down to work, my hair needs to be up and out of my face.  Such a dumb waste of time.  We all have these dumb waste-of-time moments or habits.  Let me know what yours is in the comments below.

Use a timer.  One of my newer, more brilliant productivity boosting habits is using a miracle cube to set time limits on my projects.  I only have a set amount of time that I can spend in my office baby-free.  That time is gold to me, so I have to use it wisely.  By scheduling out those minutes to focus on certain projects, I stay productive and can handle that daily to-do list like a bad mother shut-your-mouth.

Be smart with my minutes.  When I have childcare, I know that I need to use those baby-free minutes carefully.  That means, hand pick the projects that I need more concentration (i.e. quiet) for.  Leave the easier projects for other (noisier) times.  Prioritize your time wisely.

Set goals.  I’m a list maker.  Man, I love my lists.  As I sit here at my desk typing out this post, I see four different lists on my desk.  I also have three other lists on my vision board.  I have a Goals/Dreams list on my vision board.  On my desk, I keep a running monthly to-do and a daily to-do.  This helps me keep my day and time in check.  But don’t just set goals for yourself, set timelines.  Give yourself a date/time that you want to accomplish specific goals by.

Take care of yourself.  It’s easy to get so wrapped up in work or a project that everything else goes out the window.  You can’t let this happen.  If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t give 100% on your work.  You need sleep, nutrition, breaks and exercise.  Make sure that you are caring for yourself, even in the midst of your hectic work schedule.

Learn to say no.  That two letter word is the most powerful word in the English language.  And yet, we have so much trouble saying it sometimes.  Here’s the thing I’ve learned: when I say yes to something that I need to say no to, I’m cheating myself of being available for something I actually want to do.  If we’re doing something begrudgingly, not only will it make us unhappy, but we won’t give it our all.  I don’t want to take on a project unless I can give it my full 100%.  I’ve learned that when I’m burning that candle at both ends, I don’t produce my best work and I’m unhappy.  No needs to become a word we’re comfortable with in order to maintain balance in all areas of our lives.

Comment below with some of your best tips for staying productive, even when life gets crazy.


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