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Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

How to Get Over a Breakup | Girl Talk Tuesday

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I’m tackling one more love topic in our special Girl Talk Tuesday series.  It’s not a happy topic.  In fact it’s a topic that most of us want to avoid at all costs…  Yet it’s something that most of us will experience at some point in our love lives…  Breakups.

If you’re like me, you’ve been through a breakup (or ten) in your life, and you have handled at least one of them all wrong.  It’s easy to let your emotions take over in these situations, I know.  But once the breakup happens, the hardest part comes…  Getting over it.

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Practical Tips of How to Get Over a Breakup:

  1. Allow yourself time to be sad.  I’m not talking months or years here, but I am talking about a reasonable amount of time to allow your heart to hurt.  I believe that a broken heart is some of the worst pain we humans endure.
  2. Don’t badmouth him.  While the wounds are fresh, your emotions are obviously maxed out.  This is not the time to tell anyone who will listen every bad thing he ever did…  Especially not his family or his friends.  Talk to your most trusted friends only.  Otherwise, keep the details private until you’re in a better place.
  3. Understand that each relationship is a learning experience.  It may not feel like it at first, but you learn something valuable from each relationship you’re in.  My aunt used to say that every guy I dated was a stepping stone to the right man.
  4. Focus on yourself.  After a breakup, there’s nothing you can say or do to change your ex.  The good news is that you can change yourself.  Use this time to evaluate where you are in life and work on who you want to become.
  5. Don’t Allow it to start bad habits.  Don’t allow yourself to get so depressed that you do things you normally wouldn’t do.  If you see yourself starting to pick up bad habits, check yourself before you wreck yourself.  Yes a carton of Ben & Jerry’s and a good cry will make you feel better in the moment…  Just don’t do it every single night.
  6. Put the reminders away.  Put away the photos and old shirts of his.  Don’t toss them just because you’re angry…  These are memories of a certain period of your life that you may just want to look back on one day (or not)…  But for now, find a box and pack them away, out of view.
  7. Turn off the sad songs.  Sometimes you need to wallow, I get it.  But once you’ve had your time to be sad, shut the sad music off.  Music has such a grasp on our emotions.  When I was in high school, my ex-boyfriend & my song was Brian McKnight’s “Back At One”.  When we broke up the first time, every time that song came on the radio it felt like my 15 year old heart was being ripped out of my chest.  It was a 3 minute long reminder of something that was over.  I had to learn that the second I heard that familiar tune, the station needed to be changed.
  8. Write.  Have too many emotions to deal with?  Trying writing them down.  Writing down how you feel then reading it back to yourself can sometimes be such a healing experience.

I’m a serial monogamist.  I’ve only ever been in serious relationships, so the breakups I’ve been through have been hard.  Every tough experience I went through shaped me into the woman I am today.  Remember that the pain you’re feeling, the situation you’re in, it’s all just a season.  Even when you feel like the world is crashing down around you, know that you are stronger than you realize.

If you’re going through a breakup, I understand how hurt you are.  I’ve found that in my breakups are the times that I learned to lean on God the most.  When I couldn’t see why I had to go through the hurt, He provided a comfort that I couldn’t get anywhere else.

Photography by Kara Coleen.


What I’m Wearing:

Lulu’s Lace Dress (also comes in black)  //  Valentino Rockstud Shoes; save pair (around $100)  //  Louis Vuitton wallet  //  Adhesive Bra

How to Know You’re with a Good Man | Girl Talk Tuesday

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One of my favorite movies is Tyler Perry’s “Diary of a Mad Black Woman”.  If you’ve never seen this movie, put it on your must watch list immediately.  There are so many life lessons, especially about marriage, that every woman needs to hear.  There is one line that has always stuck with me through the years since I first watched this movie.  That quote the inspiration behind today’s Girl Talk Tuesday post…  “Sometimes you need to be with a terrible man to know what good one feels like.

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

how to know that you're with a good man girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

That’s been true not only in my own life, but several of my girlfriend’s lives.  Obviously not every woman will read that quote and feel like it applies to her.  I do, however, know that some of you will read this and your heart will start racing.  Your heart is pounding in your ears right now for one of two reasons:  1. You’re like me and you’ve lived that quote out.  You went through that dark phase, but now found your good, good man.  Or, 2. your heart is unsettled and this blog post title is speaking to you.  Either way, you’re in the right place, darling.

I’m not going to use this post to dive into my past dating life, but I am going to use my relationship experience to (hopefully) speak some truths.  Long story short, my relationship before Matt was bad.  I now refer to that time as the darkest period of my life.  trust me when I tell you, I’m speaking from experience when it comes to bad relationships.

How to Know You’re with a Good Man

  1. You have peace.  When you’re in the wrong relationship, you don’t have peace.  Period.  When you’re with a bad man, every part of your life feels unsettled.
  2. You feel happy.  If you’ve ever been in a truly bad relationship, then you know what it feels to be unhappy.  Sometimes the unhappiness is vague, like you can’t put your finger on why you feel the way you feel…  But the unhappiness is just constantly looming.  It’s as if you can’t escape it.  When you’re with a good man, you’re just plain ole happy.  For no good reason at all, your heart is full.
  3. You can sleep at night.  When you’re in a bad relationship, you oftentimes know it because you can’t sleep at night.  For me, that was because I had an aching feeling in my gut that not only was I with the wrong person, but I had a feeling that he wasn’t ever really where he said he was.  I knew somewhere down deep inside that he was lying to me about where he was all. the. time.
  4. Your friends and family actually like him.  This was a huge indicator for me.  My friends and family both tried to tell me over and over (and over) that I was with the wrong person.  I wouldn’t hear it.  I would rather listen to his lies than the truth everyone in my life was trying to tell me.
  5. There are no secrets.  Everything is out in the open.  Neither of you have anything to hide from each other.  Your lives are an open book.  When you’re with the right person, there’s no reason to read into their every action.  There is no reason to go through their phone.  You’re secure in your relationship and you have no reason to doubt each other.
  6. Or lies or manipulation…  When your relationship is built on lies, there’s about a 100% chance that are you’re also being manipulated.  You can’t see the truth right in front of your face because you’re being manipulated.  The lies become the truth to you.
  7. You don’t worry about other women.  A truly good man won’t ever try to make you feel jealous of other women.  He won’t tell you things to try to make you feel insecure.  He won’t tear you down.  He’ll make sure that you know that you’re the only woman for him.

Does any of this apply to you?  Maybe you’re already dating a good man, but he’s not the right one for you.  This is a common problem that I’ve seen time and time again.  Let me give this piece of advice…  If that is your situation, stop wasting his time.  Stop wasting your own time.  Don’t date someone just to keep yourself from being alone.  Being in the wrong relationship and staying in it only robs you of valuable time to be single and learn about yourself.  Women often stay in the wrong relationship just because she’s comfortable, waiting for something else better to come along.  Don’t do this.  Let him go, girl.  Let him be with who he’s supposed to be with.  Be single!  Trust me, it won’t kill you.  Chances are, you’ll make some really awesome memories with your girlfriends when you’re single.  And, you’ll meet your Mr. Right.

Leave a comment below and let me know if this post resonated with you and how.  I’ve said before, I love talking about relationships and y’all seem to love these posts which makes me so happy.


What I’m Wearing:

Velvet Bomber Jacket  (ON SALE 40% OFF!)  //  Hudson High Waist Jeans  //  Paul Mitchell Curling Wand

What’s It Like to Date You? GTT

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Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater, Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans, The North Face Coat, Beanie, Fringe Scarf, uggs. Angela Lanter from Hello Gorgeous, outfits.

Welcome back to the third installment of Girl Talk Tuesday the “Love Series”.  We’ve tackled first dates, ways that you’re ruining your relationship/marriage and now we’re taking a good long look at ourselves.

Ladies, let’s kick this off with one question…  Would you date you?  Or, if you’re already married, what’s it like to be married to you?

No, really.  No one knows you better than you.  No one knows all the deep, dark secrets.  With that being said, knowing what you do, would you date you?

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

What's It Like to Date You? Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

One of my most defining moments as a 20-something young woman was when I asked myself this question.  I had to really think about my answer.  Here are some of the things I discovered:

  1. I wanted to change the other person.  I constantly tried to “fix” my boyfriends.  It took me many years to finally understand that you can’t change anyone but yourself.  No amount of nagging, crying, yelling or anything will really change someone.  You have to either accept who that person is or you have to move on.
  2. I always looked to blame an outside.  If an argument or problem arose, my first response would be to find someone to blame.  Rarely are relationship problems 100% the fault of only one person.  Recognizing your role in argument is a sign of relational maturity.
  3. I never asked for forgiveness.  I believe that a true apology needs to include asking for forgiveness.  “Will you forgive me?”  Those four words will humble you and, in a lot of cases, soften the heart of the injured party.  A healthy marriage consists of two people who are great at asking for and giving forgiveness.
  4. I was uncomfortable with myself.  I was constantly in long, serious relationships throughout my teenage years and my 20’s.  The very thought of being single freaked me out.  When I had no choice but to be single in a certain season of my life, I learned more about myself than probably every other season combined.  I had become so used to being known as someone’s girlfriend that I lost who I really was.  I took that time to grow closer than ever to God.  I spent time really thinking about what I wanted in a future husband.  I read so many marriage books.  Really, I figured out what I wanted out of a relationship, but it took me being alone to do it.  When I was in a relationship, I was distracted by who was consuming my time, which kept me from realizing what I really wanted in a partner.
  5. I’m stubborn.  My Mawmaw used to say that I’d argue with a sign post.  I didn’t want to date an argumentative person, so why should that be okay for me to act that way?
  6. I was a bad listener.  I’d like to think that I’ve improved my listening skills through the years.  I spent so much time thinking about what I wanted to say during an argument that I’d miss just about everything the other person said.  I now try to practice active listening as much as possible.

Now that you know my dirty laundry, I’d like to challenge you.  What’s it like to date you or be married to you?  Write down at least three completely honest things about you that you know to be true…  No matter how ugly those things are.  I want these to be things you know that you need to work on.  Being that this is a safe place, feel free to share those things in the comments below.  Sometimes your truth can help another reader discover something about their own self.


What I’m Wearing:

Stripe Turtleneck Sweater (ON SALE!!!)  //  Hudson High Waist Skinny Jeans  //  The North Face Coat (similar)  //  Beanie (similar)  //  Fringe Scarf (my absolute favorite scarf I own!)  //  Over-the-Knee Socks (similar)  //  Ugg Boots

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