Girl Talk

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous
GTT: How To Rest In A Busy Season

GTT: How To Rest In The Busy Season

GTT: How To Rest In A Busy Season GTT: How To Rest In A Busy Season GTT: How To Rest In A Busy Season GTT: How To Rest In A Busy Season GTT: How To Rest In A Busy Season

 

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Dress: Who What Wear Wedges: Steve Madden  |  Earrings: Kendra Scott {c/o}  |  Lipstick: NARS “American Woman”


Is it just me, or does life seem to get busier (and crazier) with each passing day?  Most nights, when headed to bed, my mind is still spinning, my to-do list is still long, my inbox is still full…  Everything is still…  So.  Busy.

As I’m writing this post, I’m two days behind my (self induced) writing deadline and sitting at my computer at 10pm wishing for normalcy.  And yet, here I am trying to play catch up on my never ending list of daily/weekly/monthly to-do’s.  I’m not writing these words to complain.  Quite the opposite.  You see, I love writing.  I love opening my laptop and pouring out my words, thoughts and heart into a post for other women to enjoy.  I’m writing this to allow you in on the imperfectness of my life.  I’m calling out, “All aboard the Hot Mess Express!”  If you’re on that same ride with me, then keep reading sister.  I’m about to school myself (and possibly you too) about what life is supposed to look like.

Life isn’t supposed to be lived at 100 MPH.  Time is fleeting.  We will never get back the time we’ve already spent.  My question is, are you stewarding your time wisely?  If your answer is no, girlfriend, you are not alone.  I’m standing right along side of you, scratching my head and trying to understand how it’s already 10pm and where in Hades this day went.  Here’s the problem with me, I know that time management is my issue, and yet here we are.

Are you surviving or thriving?   One of my favorite takeaways from “Magnolia Story” was when Joanna realized that she was merely surviving instead of thriving in her life.  I had the ultimate ah-ha moment when reading those words.  I know I’m currently in survival moment, along with so many other mamas in this world.

So, how do we change this cycle?  Where do we begin?  That’s easy.  We say one of the most universally understood words: no.  If you’re in a crazy season of life like me, then you most likely are over-committed and are under-delivering, right?  Since there is no possible way to add more hours to the day (trust me, I’ve tried) our only option is to minimize our commitments.  If you’re a chronic people-pleaser like I am, this will not be easy.  But nothing worth having ever is easy.  And reclaiming your sanity, time and peace is worth it.

So here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to take a look at our calendar for the next week and schedule in time for yourself each day.  No exceptions.  We would never back out of time scheduled with someone who was counting on us, but each day we’ll break promises to ourselves, crazy how that works.  The buck stops here.  We need to make ourselves a priority moving forward.  Your time each day is just that, your time.  Schedule whatever it is that you enjoy…  A nap, massage, reading, whatever it is, make it enjoyable.  But do not break your commitment to yourself.  You can’t serve others well if you aren’t well yourself.

Another thing we’re going to start doing?  Making a bedtime.  Oh, and actually sticking to that bedtime.  Lady, you need your precious eight hours.  Whatever you have going on will be there in the morning.

Rest: what is it?  Rest is ceasing work; rest is relaxation.  We can’t give 100% at anything is we’re exhausted.  I can’t be the best mom, wife, entrepreneur that God created me to be if I’m burnt out.

I recently decided to schedule out my days, scheduling specific jobs, tasks and chores for specific days.  Two of my days are rest days.  Just in case you need a reminder like I often do, here’s what the Bible has to say about rest:

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2

Basically, work while it is day, but when night comes it’s time to sleep.  Funny how I chose that scripture for this post, right?  That’s the great things about being open and honest with you, is it gives me an opportunity to examine my own behavior.  I’m able to see the areas of my life that need some help.  That’s why I’m giving myself two rest days a week.  Will I actually rest both days?  No, but I’ll purpose to slow down and enjoy those days instead of packing in the one million items on my to-do list that week.

Self-care is key.  If you’re not caring for your health, then you’re doing yourself a disservice.  The days I take 10 minutes to do yoga are my better days.  I’m caring for my mind, body and spirit when I take time to do something for me.  No one else can care for you, you have to help yourself.

Leave a comment below and let me know if you are going to take the challenge this week with me to schedule time for yourself every day.  Now I’m heading to bed…  But first, pumping and Season 5 of Downton Abbey. 🙂

How to have a better day girl talk tuesday angela lanter

GTT: How To Have A Better Day

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

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Dressby the way.  |  HeelsTarget  |  EarringsKendra Scott {c/o}


You ever just have one of those days?  C’mon, you know what I’m talking about.  One of those days.  The kind where you know very early on that you’d be better off if you’d just crawl back into bed and say, “Screw it all.”  Yep, I knew you’d had one before.  That’s because we all have.  Yesterday was sort of that way for me.  Except the suckiness of the day just kept mounting as the day progressed.  It wasn’t the worst day of my life, but it was still one I would rather forget.

I shared a little bit about my day on Instagram last night and realized that this topic would make for a great Girl Talk Tuesday post.  I love an encouraging post or comment, so when I have an “Ah-ha moment” I always want to share with you in case there’s someone out there who needs to learn from my experience.

Let’s chat about having a better day…  Basically, my tips for how to turn a bad day around.

Identify the cause.  Is the world out to get you today or are you really just upset with someone and you’ve misplaced your frustration?  Determining what the root of the problem is will help you figure out how to go about fixing it.

Check yourself.  We’re girls, which means that {sometimes} our moods are the result of our hormones.  Please note: I said sometimes.  If you do happen to be PMS-ing, take that fact into consideration.  Then go buy yourself a box of chocolates.

Accept that some things are outside of your control.  Things are going to happen that we can’t do anything about.  No matter how controlling we are by nature, you can’t control it all.  You have to accept that fact and let. it. go.

Change your mindset.  A negative mindset will never result in a positive outcome.  Listen, I’m not naturally a positive thinker.  I get feeling like life isn’t all roses and rainbows.  However, when I set out to think positive, I like myself better and so do other people.  You are a more pleasant person to be around when you’re positive, and guess what?  Your day will always be better when you have a better attitude.

Be thankful.  Thinking about my blessings in life always lifts my spirits.  Thinking about the things I used to pray for, and now seeing how God breathed life into those dreams is humbling.  Talk about heart overflowing with joy when I look at the husband and baby girl I prayed for before I knew Matt even existed.  Gratitude softens your heart and your mood.  When I’m thankful, I’m joyful.

Encourage.  When I’m lacking in an area, I find that pouring that very need I have into someone else is so much more fulfilling that getting my own need met.  Wow, that was confusing, Ang.  Here’s what I mean: if I need encouragement and instead of focusing on my need, I choose to encourage someone else, my need doesn’t seem so big anymore.  Luke got it right when he said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Plan for a good day before it starts.  Have a plan in place to start your day out right.  My day is better when I start it better.  Let me know in the comments below if you’d like to see a post about my tips for starting your morning off right.

Hey girl, you got this.  Now let’s go out and kick this week’s butt.  After all, we’re in this together, girlfriend.

Photography by Kara Coleen.

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

GTT: 5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

5 Tips For Overcoming Social Media Negativity

According to Merriam-Webster, social media is defined as: forms of electronic communication through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content (such as videos).  Sounds attractive, right?  I mean, communities created to share our ideas and personal messages seems like a fun way to spend your down time.  And yet, we find ourselves being inundated with politics, sad news and downright nasty comments when we do something as harmless as log onto Facebook.

Have you been in a perfectly good mood, then looked at social media and found your mood shift towards the negative?  I sure have.  Whether it was a harsh comment directed towards me, or a negative post that someone felt justified in sending out into the social universe.  Some days I find myself feeling the internet does more harm than it does good.  Obviously, that’s not the case, but man, it sure can feel that way.  You can read something online that will leave you feeling sad, depressed, anxious and sometimes hateful.

What gives?  How do we overcome the bad that’s all over the internet?  I want to share my practical tips to overcome the negativity.

  1. Pay attention.  Have you been noticing a negative shift in your mood when you’re on social media?  Perhaps you feel jealousy over someone’s perfect Instagram life.  Or maybe you can’t stand reading even one more political post.  Recognize if your bad mood is being driven by what you’re consuming online.
  2. Take a break.  If you do find yourself feeling down or negative, cleanse!  Take a social media break.  Delete the apps off your phone.  Make it harder to access.  And choose a friend to help keep you accountable.  See if a break helps improve your tude.
  3. Remember it isn’t all real.  When reality tv came on the scene, we began to believe manufactured situations to be truth.  The same goes for social media.  I bet my right foot not a single one of the gorgeous accounts you follow online is someone’s real life.  None of the Pinterest moms really have it all together.  You know why?  Because no one is perfect.  We’re all flawed.  We all fall short.  But guess what?  That’s the beauty of life.  We’re all these imperfectly perfect women just trying to live our best lives.  Somewhere along the way we were fed the lies that we had to live up to the Pinterest-perfect lifestyles we see online, and we believed it.  We conveniently forgot it’s not realistic.
  4. Quit playing the comparison game.  Comparison really is the thief of joy (read my post here on this topic.)  We women tend to compare everything we have, do and are to others.  I believe this dangerous game we play has been going on since Eve was in the garden.  Social media has only magnified how big our flaws really are.  Instead of enjoying the beauty we see in what other women are creating online, we find ourselves feeling down because we can’t do what they’re doing.  We seem to forget that we all have gifts and talents.  We only see that someone online is living their life better and prettier than we are.
  5. Establish boundaries.  You know that a certain person or account that you follow that leaves you feeling bad about yourself?  Unfollow them!  Do you find yourself getting wrapped up in comment wars with people you don’t personally know and will never meet?  STOP IT.  There’s no excuse for behaving badly in real life, so there’s absolutely no excuse for behaving badly on the internet.  Thumper said it best in Bambi, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  That person online who irks the crud out of you?  Regardless of how many followers they have, how much money they appear to have, whatever excuse you are using to justify your rude remarks…  They have feelings too.  They are human, just like you.  Publicly posting a nasty remark online doesn’t make you look better and ultimately, it won’t make you feel better either.Set up boundaries for yourself.  Commit to following only the accounts that make you feel good.  Comment only when you have something positive to say.  Be the change this world so badly needs.  Choose to see the good, instead of commenting on the bad.

I’ve teamed up with Olay to encourage you to find the good in social media.  As always, if I encourage even one of my Gorgeous Girls, then I count my work as successful.  Comment below with any suggestions you have to staying positive on social media!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Olay. The opinions and text are all mine.

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