Are You A Mean Girl? | Girl Talk Tuesday
“Mean girls grow up to be mean women.”
I’m not sure who originally said this, but they were mostly right. There are absolutely exceptions to this rule, but for the most part… Mean girls really do grow up to be mean women. Here’s the thing, I think that the majority of women have a little “mean” in them.
Whenever I tackle a topic like this, I like to first look at the word we’re focusing on. The definition of the word “mean” from dictionary.com is:
Ever say something offensive? Maybe you’ve acted a bit selfish before? We all have. Does that make you a “mean girl”? No, of course it doesn’t. We’re all human, we all make mistakes and misbehave at times.
Picture this (where my Golden Girls fans at?): a while back, a friend proudly showed me the engagement ring he designed that he was going to propose with. This ring was stunning. Instead of remarking on my excitement and the ring’s beauty, something misfired in my brain and I made a comment about a detail that I felt the ring was lacking. My initial thought as soon as the nasty remark fell out of my mouth was, why would I say something so stupid? Case in point: In that moment, I was a mean girl. *Gulp.*
I, of course, apologized wholeheartedly for what I said. I never want to become a mean girl. That situation still comes to mind from time to time, and I still feel embarrassed when I remember my words. But you know what? I learned a lesson that day. I learned how true the Bible is when it says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” I try to remind myself constantly to think before I speak. Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you should speak it. Can I get an amen?!
Have you had a mean girl moment? I’d bet you have had a few, if you’re anything like me. It’s how we choose to respond to those moments that shapes who we are as women. We have the choice to learn from it or repeat it.
Here’s how to know if you’re a mean girl:
- Mean girls make bad friends. We’ve all seen the movie a hundred times. I think we all identify with one of the characters in it. But the bottom line of that hilarious movie is: mean girls don’t have friends because they don’t know how to be a friend. Mean girls have cliques. They surround themselves with other girls who make them look good, but their relationships have no real depth. They’re shallow and so are their “friendships”.
- Mean girls are jealous. Sometimes they will point blank say that they’re jealous of someone. Other times, they will make nasty remarks about another girl, cutting her down, to just make herself look or feel better.
- Mean girls are superficial. They care most about two things: looks and status. Outward appearance means way more than inward appearance to this group.
- Mean girls are judgmental. And condescending. If you went to school with a mean girl (or maybe 10) then you’ve either been personally victimized or witnessed a victimization by a Regina George wannabe. I had 12 kids in my graduating class, so there was little reason to play the competition game in my high school, lol! I have definitely encountered the Regina George’s in my adult life though, and they always find a way to leave you feeling completely inadequate. They say things like, “Oh, you’re wearing that?” Or, “I thought you were trying to lose a few pounds?” PS- read my blog post about insecurity tips here.
- Mean girls can’t keep a secret. In fact, they may even file away secrets for later ammo.
- Mean girls gossip. Anyone is fair game. They will talk about anyone behind their back without a second thought.
- Mean girls are bossy. And controlling. There’s only one way, and it’s their way. End of story. And guess what? She usually does end up getting her way. Honestly, it’s easier to please her than to deal with her anger.
Do you identify with any of these traits? Total disclosure: I have personally struggled with several of these throughout the course of my life. I would never label myself as a “mean girl” but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t exhibit some of these traits from time to time. The first step to overcoming these bad habits is admitting that you actually do act this way. You can’t change or grow unless you acknowledge the areas that you need to focus on.
It’s not too late for a heart change. It’s never too late to replace those negative feelings, thoughts and words with kindness towards others. Let me tell you, it’s a whole lot easier, and feels a whole lot better, to be nice. Personally, I think it takes a lot more effort to be mean than it does to share a smile or a kind word.
Leave a comment below and share a mean girl moment that you’ve had. Or if you’re a reformed mean girl, I wanna hear about it!
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15 Tips for a Good Night’s Sleep | Girl Talk Tuesday
I hope y’all had a wonderful Halloween celebrating with family and friends. We were lucky enough to spend the weekend with friends at home in LA and had such a great time!
Now that Halloween is over, I feel no shame being in full-on holiday spirit! I’m listening to Christmas Classics as I write this, lol! Anyone else like to celebrate Christmas for as long as possible?!
Last week, I spent the week at home alone in LA and had quite a bit of trouble sleeping those first few nights. Whenever Matt’s away, I find that my sleep gets off track due to my nerves. I took to Snapchat and asked what some of your favorite sleep hacks are and got some great responses. I also had a few of you ask that I write a blog post and share the wealth of info. Today, we’re going to dive into tips on getting a good night’s sleep.
I’ve been very blessed in that I’ve been a great sleeper most of my life. I’m the type of person who can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. I definitely require my solid 8 hours though. If I get less than that, I’m running on E most of the day.
When I don’t get enough sleep, I get sassy. It’s basically the sleepy version of being “hungry”. We don’t operate at our optimal level when we’re tired, and sometimes we can barely operate at all when we’re exhausted. When you’re well rested you think better, act better and look better. Our bodies were designed to require rest in order to recharge, but sometimes we get busy and put that necessity on the back burner.
If I polled my regular readers about their sleep habits, I would bet good money that the majority of us would say that we feel like we’re: A) regularly tired and B) don’t get enough rest. My question is, why don’t we do something about it? I know, I know… We’re busy. We have all of these demands and not enough hours in the day. Let me ask you this though. what’s more important to you in the grand scheme of things? Your health or your to-do list? For me, it’s definitely my health.
Here’s the thing… Studies show that those of us who sleep more, live longer. In fact, I’ve read that people who sleep less than 5 hours a night are more likely to suffer from serious diseases. Don’t believe me? Google it for yourself. Bottom line? Sleep is essential for our bodies.
Here are some tips and tricks that help me to wind down and get a good night’s sleep.
15 Tips for a Good Night’s Sleep
- Take a long, hot bath. If you read last week’s post about dealing with menstrual cramps, then you know that baths are my cure for almost everything. There’s something so relaxing about a hot bath before bed. If you have a hot tub, that can do the trick (minus the bubble bath). A lot of times, my inability to fall asleep is due to a stressful day or situation, so the ability to soak in the tub and relax can help to melt away the worries of the day. Here’s my favorite bubble bath.
- Lavender Oil. I’m a big supporter of essential oils. I’m not highly educated on all of the different brands, types, blends or uses, but one oil I’m very familiar with is lavender. We use this by sprinkling a few drops on our pillows at bedtime, add it to our bath water or apply several drops in the palms of our hands and inhale deeply. I feel like this calming scent really does help me unwind. I was recently sent this amazing pillow spray that smells divine and you should absolutely check it out.
- Blackout curtains. Are you sensitive to light? Or do you have a wonky sleep schedule due to work? If so, investing in a quality set of blackout curtains can help you stay asleep longer.
- Sleep mask. This one is a must for me. I started snoozing with a sleep mask a couple of years ago and now there’s no turning back. It helps me to stay asleep longer by keeping the light out of my peepers. It also deters me from checking the clock or my phone throughout the night. I love this sleep mask from Slip and I’m currently using and loving this sleep mask from This Works.
- Sipping hot tea. I’m not a tea drinker, but my hubby is. There are certain blends I will drink on occasion, but this is one thing that is highly suggested for troubled sleepers. The most popular choices are Sleepy Time Tea and Chamomile for bedtime use.
- Getting on a sleep schedule. I am the worst at this one. I can easily stay up past 2am every night just futzing around on the internet, reading, working or watching tv. One of the most suggested tips for those who struggle with getting good sleep is having a regular bedtime and wake up time. I desperately want to set this one into action, but with Matt’s filming schedule being all over the place every single day… That is almost impossible. Maybe one day I’ll hang up my night owl ways and practice better sleep discipline!
- Creating a peaceful, comfortable sleep environment. This one is so important and the most personal. I say it’s personal because what is peaceful and calming to me may not be the same for you. First off, your bedroom should be a place of relaxation. That means your walls should be a calming, and most likely neutral, color. Same with your bedding. I’m a huge advocate of splurging on quality bedding. You spend more time in your bed than probably any other one place every day of the week, so it should be luxurious! For me, luxurious means sleeping in a big, white, super soft cloud-like bed. That also means investing in a good quality mattress that checks all of your boxes. Candles in my bedroom really helps to create a peaceful, spa-like ambiance that I love.
- Comfortable temperature. Once you get married, this becomes an issue if one of you likes to sleep in the cold and the other doesn’t. I hate being cold at night, but I also hate waking up having a hot flash in the middle of the night because the temperature is too high. Finding your perfect sleep temperature is important for a peaceful sleep.
- Limit caffeine and fluid intake. For me, I know not to drink coffee after 6pm or 7pm if I’m wanting to get in bed at a decent time. That’s a no-brainer… But the thing I often forget? Drinking too much water too close to bedtime. I hate waking up in the middle of the night to use the restroom! This is another one I need to be cognizant of!
- Don’t eat too late. You’re not going to get good sleep if you’re feeling full from a big meal. In fact, there’s a good chance you’ll end up with indigestion if you eat too heavy at bedtime. Keep an eye on the time when you’re having your dinner to allow plenty of time for digestion before your head hits that pillow.
- Exercise regularly. I usually get my best sleep when I’m physically tired. Exercise helps to keep your body in a better sleep rhythm.
- Create a bedtime routine. I find that having a routine that I do every night at bedtime prepares my brain for shut eye. It’s like I’m reminding my mind to wind it down once I start my nighttime routine.
- Cut out eye strain before bedtime. It’s much harder to turn off your brain and relax your eyes if you’re laying in your pitch dark room staring at your lit up laptop screen or cell phone for 30 minutes. Do you really need to read one more political Facebook post that will only leave you feeling annoyed? Nope. Skip it. Go to bed, social media will be there, along with all your Facebook friends dirty laundry, tomorrow morning.
- Get a grip on your stress. If you’re stressin’ about something as you hit the hay, chances are you’re not going to be able to get that restful sleep you so desperately need. Check your stress at the door if possible.
- Listen to an audio book, spa music or sound machine. Listening to peaceful music or an audio book knocks me out in less than 5 minutes usually. It’s not something that I need, unless I’m on an airplane or in a noisy hotel. Some people do need sound help in order to sleep. Check out sound machines on Amazon or even a small fan to create white noise. Or if noise is a distraction, consider training yourself to sleep with ear plugs.
I’ve read mostly negative information about naps during the day. I’m a big napper. I learned that hobby from my Mawmaw, who regularly took her siestas (as she referred to them). I personally think nap time should be a part of our normal day, but clearly I’m not in the majority with that one, lol!
You’re up! What tips, tricks and hacks do you have and use to get a solid night of sleep? I love hearing from you! I learn so much through your comments both on here and on social media.
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8 Ways to Relieve Period Cramps | Girl Talk Tuesday
I’ve been MIA, I know. But hopefully you’ve noticed my new website?! Hello Gorgeous got a beautiful new facelift thanks to my web design extraordinaire, Chase Jennings. The new design coupled with my travel back home to LA (Yes, I’m currently writing this post from the comfort of my own home in LA!) has set me back a bit. But, guess what? It’s my favorite day of the week… It’s Girl Talk Tuesday!
If you missed last week’s post, we chatted about “11 Things Succesful Women Do Everday” and before that, we talked about “Insecurity.” Both of these topics received fantastic response from you, my readers, which I really appreciate. I love getting feedback and knowing what you are enjoying as well as what not’s really working. Your responses teach me so much, so please keep them coming!
Today, I’m throwing y’all a curveball. We’re still very much doing Girl Talk, but we’re talking about the real girl stuff. We’re tackling cramps.
As many of you know, I suffer from Endometriosis. One of the main symptoms for an Endo patient is menstrual cramps. Not the “Oh, I feel yucky because I have cramps” kind. But the “My innards feel as though they are being violently ripped out of my body and I have no choice but to lie here in severe agony” kind. I’m not exaggerating. I have felt level 10 pain during a cycle that makes you think, “This is it. This is how it all ends for me. I’m going to die from cramps.”
Being that I have years of experience under my belt, I wanted to share some of my cramp hacks with you. I have tried anything and everything to get the pain to a manageable level, so I’m going to tell you which things have actually worked for me.
Before we get started, I wanted to say that I did a small Google search on this topic before writing this post and I was really surprised to see that there were no bloggers talking about this health concern. I gotta say, I’m kinda disappointed because I know so many women deal with this nightmare monthly. I only found health websites (Hello WebMD, my worst nightmare because it always leads me to believe I have a terminal illness) or websites such as Always or Tampax. Maybe I’m the only honest blogger out there? Or maybe I’m just way too open… Either way, I know that when I have a health issue, one of the first things I do is hop on the internet looking for answers or tips. I’m hoping this helps some of my readers the next time that they have to endure the worst time of the month.
My Cramps Treatments + Hacks:
- Pain killers. Such a duh, right? Wrong. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to pain. I feel like if I can just “wait it out” then the pain will pass, so I don’t really need that Advil. So dumb. I’m not sure why I make myself suffer. The older I get, the less patience I have for pain, so I’ve learned to pop an Advil at the first sign of cramps to keep them from progressing to the point of losing my legs (not being able to walk due to the pain).
- Heating Pad. AKA: My best friend 2-3 days every month. Heat helps to relieve the pain for me. Some months I’ll have back cramps, others I can tell you exactly where my ovaries are located. This heating pad is my favorite one ever. It’s extra large so it’ll wrap around your back or belly easily. I talk about it more in this video.
- Warm drinks. Pick your poison: tea, coffee, cocoa… Anything hot seems to help, as long as you’re not nauseous. There are special tea blends that are supposed to help at this time of the month, but I’m a coffee drinker so I haven’t tried any of those.
- ThermaCare Wraps. You know those days that you have cramps but you can’t do what you really need/want to and stay in bed? I know those days. I hate those days. I had days when I had excruciating pain but couldn’t miss a class/shift/appointment. These handy little heated wraps are really something. When you need relief without a cord (heating pad) then these really are worth every penny. They don’t get as hot as I’d like them to for as long as I’d like them to, but they do the job.
- Hot Foot Bath. This one is an old wive’s tale that my mom taught me, and her mom taught her. And it really does stinkin’ work. When I would be on the floor in a crumpled ball crying from the pain, my mom would fill the bath tub with 1-2″ of the hottest water she could get. She would then dip my feet in the water for about 10 seconds, then take them out and repeat this several times. The hot water on your feet does this magical pain relief that I can’t explain. Obviously, don’t use water hot enough to actually burn your skin, but the hottest that you can safely stand. After the foot bath, next my mom would…
- Take a hot bath. My mom would then fill the tub up with hot water and make me sit in it to relax. Hot baths really do help to melt away the pain, stiffness in your body and also worries from the day. This is my absolute favorite bubble bath. The lavender scent helps to add to the relaxing experience.
- Get comfy. Get in your softest, comfiest clothes. Be sure to keep your feet warm, even if the means using the heating pad on them. There really is something about cold feet and cramps, I haven’t done any research on this, but for me it’s a real thing. I’ll link my favorite comfy clothes and socks below.
- Clear your mind. The last thing you need is stress on top of the pain. You need happy thoughts, so turn on your favorite chick flick because, girlfriend, it’s time to relax.
These are things that I’ve personally tried and have found work for me. What is your remedy for cramps? Do you get them regularly? If so, do you have to miss any work or school for them? I missed at least one day every single month of school then work before I had my first Endometriosis surgery. I still get cramps monthly, but they’re no where near as bad as they once were. Mine are now manageable. I just overall feel like I have the flu the first day or two with cramps, headache and lethargy.
If you have any topic suggestions that you would like to see my take on for future Girl Talk Tuesdays, please leave them in the comments section.