11 Things Successful Women Do Everyday | Girl Talk Tuesday
Welcome back to Girl Talk Tuesday! If you missed my first installment of GTT, check it out here. It was my most commented blog post I’ve ever written. I received so much amazing feedback from my Gorgeous Girls not only on the post itself, but everywhere from SnapChat to Facebook. Thanks so much for the love and comments! Today, we’re taking a different route and talking about habits of successful women.
My apologies for missing last Tuesday. Matt & I were in NYC for Comic Con as well as press for his new NBC show, Timeless. You may have caught a very terrified me on the Today Show with Kathie Lee & Hoda? I had no idea they would call me on stage and you could probably tell that by my face, lol! I’m a huge fan of theirs and they were so incredibly sweet to us. ♥
In my adult life, I’ve worn several different hats. I’ve been a college student, a career woman (I worked as a fraud investigator) and now I’m an entrepreneur. Regardless which category I have fit into since my early 20’s, I was always on the lookout to better myself to be more successful.
Let’s kick things off by first looking at the word success. According to the dictionary, the definition of success is: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose; the attainment of popularity or profit; a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity.
But, I could ask 10,000 women what success means to them and potentially receive 10,000 different answers. We all are at different places in our lives with different goals we want to achieve. Success looks totally different for every woman. The good news? There are habits that successful women have that we can adopt to have a more successful day, career or maybe even life. Let’s take a look.
Habits of Successful Women
- Put their husbands and families first. Seems like a no-brainer, right? Maybe you have no problem with this, but I can almost guarantee you that you know someone who does. Women are hard workers. We like to get the job done and get it done right. We like to better ourselves and our careers, sometimes to the point of bringing work home with us both literally and emotionally. When this starts to happen, it’s as if we lose the ability to turn off our work-side. A truly balanced woman understands the importance of her career, but also understands the importance of her personal life. Work is where you achieve your goals, but home (with your husband and kids) is where you achieve your happiness.
- They get up & get dressed. If you work outside of your home, this will sound like a total duh to you. If you’re like me and you work from home, then this one is probably an ouchie. I love waking up in the morning, rolling out of bed and working all day in my jammies. Seems harmless, right? Well it sorta is. But it tends to keep you less motivated. When you wake up and get ready for your day as if you work outside of your home, you tend to be more motivated. I don’t know about you, but a motivated Angela can just about move mountains. When I’m in my PJs I tend to move slower and think slower because it’s almost as if I’m in a constant “relax mode.” Is this a totally mental thing? You betcha. Sometimes we have to trick ourselves into thinking and doing certain things. This is one of them for me.
- Understand the power of the word, “No.” This is one I’m still learning. Used together, those two letters form the most powerful word in the English language. This skill is one we need to learn and practice in all areas of our lies, not just in work situations. Have a friend or family member who keeps asking for favors that you don’t have the resources to provide? No. It’s time we stop overextending our time, our emotions and our finances at the risk of hurting someone else’s feelings. You can absolutely say no in a completely respectful and loving way (my Aunt Gina always says to be “Lovingly Firm”). I can’t guarantee that you won’t make someone angry… But we as women aren’t in the business of pleasing people. We are here to live our own lives and achieve our own goals. If we consistently put ourselves aside to put other’s tasks ahead of our own, we’ll just keep running in circles. Just to be clear, I’m not saying to always say no to every person. I’m talking about saying no to people and situations that will overwork, over-exert and over-stress YOU.
- Delegate. Another hard one for me, but oh-so-necessary. I once heard a story about a hardworking momma who said this to her loving husband: You can have a clean house, good food or a working wife. I can do two out of three. Which two will you choose? That’s a smart woman. She realized that she couldn’t do it all. She was upfront and honest with her husband about it and gave him the choice of which task she would delegate to someone else. Not all of us have the resources to do this, but I have a feeling there may be certain things in our lives (work and home) that we could delegate to someone else. Delegating helps maintain sanity in my opinion. Doing it all doesn’t make us look better if we’re pulling our hair out from the stress.
- Take care of their bodies. What’s the first thing you give up when you get overwhelmed in your life? I give up exercise and healthy eating. I feel like I just can’t make time to get to the gym. When I’m stressed, I don’t care what I put into my body as long as it’s quick. Here’s the problem with that: the busyness that we’re experiencing is momentary, we’re stuck with our bodies and our health for the rest of our lives. Neglecting our health now will only cause problems down the road. I’m preaching this one just as much for myself to hear as I am for anyone reading these words on the other side of this screen. This is a biggie. No one else will take care of us. We have to stop allowing everything else in our insane day to hinder our well-being.
- Feed their souls. This is another big one. I was recently talking to my best friend, who’s a busy mom of four, and asked when the last time she took an hour or two to herself to recharge. Guess what, she couldn’t remember. How about you? What do you do when your soul needs a rest? How do you recharge? When is the last time you did that for yourself? For me, feeding my soul is taking time to dive into my devotional, studying God’s Word and quiet time. There is literally never a time that I’ve done this and walked away regretting that time spent. It’s necessary. It’s also highly neglected by me. I have to be super intentional to keep this a priority, but guess what… When I do, I’m a much happier person for it.
- Set boundaries. Boundaries is an ugly word to a lot of people. They don’t know how to establish them, so they just don’t do it. This one falls very closely in line with #3. Boundaries don’t mean that you are an unfriendly person. They mean you have enough respect for yourself and other people to create healthy relationships. If you have a person in your life who sucks the life out of you, or maybe makes you feel incredibly uncomfortable, establishing boundaries with these individuals will protect you from future situations that absolutely do not have to occur.
- Let go of their insecurities. If you missed my first GTT, then go back and check it out now. Successful women set out to accomplish a goal, and then they go out and they do it. They don’t allow their insecurities to hold them back from what they want to accomplish. They know what they are capable of, so they make it happen. They believe in themselves. They recognize the gifts that God has blessed them with and they study, learn and work towards their dreams. They don’t allow naysayers to rule their lives. They know what they want and they don’t stop until they get it.
- Get their hair done. Sounds silly, I know. My dear friend, Julie Solomon, told me that she had a girlfriend call her, after giving birth to her son, and that girlfriend told her to hire a babysitter and get her butt to the salon. She did. She left the salon with her fresh locks and felt like a new woman. I know that feeling. I’ve passed similar advice on to some of my own mommy friends. This one is more of a metaphor, but I think you get where I’m going with it. When you’re feeling down on yourself, go out and do what it is that makes you feel like you. Maybe you’re like Charlotte in Sex & the City when she was pregnant and feeling crummy. She needed to do what made her feel like Charlotte: start running again. So you’re feeling beat down after a bad conversation with your boss, go home and take that bubble bath. Whatever it is that you indulge in that makes you feel fabulous, do it. Sometimes, we girls just need a good indulgence to feel like ourselves again.
- Make wise decisions. In all areas of life. Can’t afford that handbag? Then be wise enough to not buy it. Dieting but really what to overindulge? Be wise enough to recognize the guilt you’ll feel tomorrow. In an unhealthy dating relationship? Be wise enough to see that your future self won’t be any happier with this man that your current self knows you shouldn’t be dating. Be wise enough to stop and think about the decision you have to make, big or small. Wisdom is something we all want and need. If you’re like me, you get in a hurry and do whatever, because any decision at all is at least a decision made. Wrong way to handle things, ladies. Be slow to think, even slower to speak but quick to listen.
- Organize their day. Creating routines and scheduling your day will cut down stress tenfold. When I schedule my day and actually operate according to that schedule, my day is 100% more successful. Creating routines that make sense for your day takes out the daily decision making that is so unnecessary. Doing things like prepping your coffee and lunch the night before frees up time the next morning. Routines for house work, grocery shopping and laundry are also major game changers in my opinion. Being intentional with your time is so essential for success. You have 24 hours in your day, are you using them wisely?
A disclaimer to this post: if you are a stay-at-home wife or mom, you are absolutely not excluded from these tips. You work every bit as hard as women who are in the business world. Nothing makes me more angrier than to hear someone talk about housewives as though they sit around and eat bonbons all day watching soaps on tv. Moms, you have jobs too. In my opinion, you have the most fulfilling and rewarding job of all!
So tell me, what are some of your tips and tricks for a success? Leave a comment below! xo
What I’m Wearing:
7 Tips to Overcome Insecurity | Girl Talk Tuesday
Back at the beginning of this year, I posted a reader survey to see what my Gorgeous Fam wanted to see more of. I expected it would be hands down YouTube videos, and that was a major request. But surprisingly, I had a huge response in the Lifestyle category, requesting more “Lifestyle” type content. I found out just how accurate this response was after releasing posts such as “Reasons to Love Small Breasts“, “5 Truths About Being Married to an Actor” and “10 Symptoms After Coming Off Birth Control“. These posts are easily my most engaged by my readers. That fact opened my eyes. I realized that you’re most likely here, reading this very post, because you want more than just outfit or makeup inspiration. A good percentage of you relate to me (and I relate to you!) and that very realization inspired this new blog series.
Introducing: Girl Talk Tuesday! On Tuesdays, I’m attempting to tackle a subject that affects you and I, the millennial woman. Who are millennial women, you ask? We are the women between the ages of 22 and 36. Don’t fall in that category? That’s okay! You more than likely will also benefit from this ongoing series. After all, regardless of age, we’re all girls, right? Right.
Today I’m tackling a toughie. This topic is something I’ve battled my entire life, along with a large percentage of the women who are reading this post. We’re diving deep into the world of insecurity. Why insecurity? Well… Why not? Mostly, my inspiration for this topic being my first in the series is because I just finished reading Beth Moore’s book, “So Long, Insecurity“. I learned so much about myself through reading this book, so I highly recommend it to every and any woman who suffers from self-doubt.
Maybe it’s too personal for me to open up and talk about my own battle with insecurity. But, hey, I’ve talked about everything from birth control to what undies I wear, so why wouldn’t I talk about it?
Insecurity often starts at a young age for girls, or at least it did for me. Maybe it’s genetic or maybe it’s learned, regardless, I want to unlearn it. I think a lot of women don’t even realize that their issue is insecurity. They associate that stinky word with not trusting their man/relationship, or something similar. But it’s so much more than that.
The definition of insecurity is: uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. Ouch. Ever lack confidence in yourself? I have and I do. Ever second guess yourself? Always. I often play and replay things that I’ve said to someone. I beat myself up about my tone or how I responded, trying to figure out if the other person took what or how I said something the wrong way. I often feel the need to apologize for the silliest, little things… Basically I sometimes apologize even when an apology isn’t needed or expected. I’m always so afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. Want to know what’s so crazy about that? I myself am not a hyper-sensitive person. I don’t get my feathers ruffled very easily, yet I spend so much of my own time worrying about ruffling someone else’s feathers.
Maybe you’re secure with yourself, but you have a woman in your life who you think may be suffering from severe insecurity. A few signs may be:
- They may tear themselves down.
- They may tear others down to make themselves look or feel better.
- They may have a hard time accepting, acknowledging or congratulating someone else on their good news or accomplishments (jealous; unable to compliment).
- They may need validation.
- They may try to make others feel insecure.
- They may constantly live their life in a state of comparison.
- They may have a hard time maintaining eye contact.
- They may make jokes at their own expense.
Any of these traits sound familiar? Perhaps in yourself or maybe in someone you know. The sooner you recognize what the root issue is (insecurity), the sooner you can deal with it.
Here are a few pointers I learned from Beth Moore’s book:
- We can think another woman is beautiful without thinking we are ugly.
- We can esteem another woman’s achievements without feeling like an idiot.
- We can appreciate another woman’s terrific body/shape without feeling like a total slob.
- The question we should all ask ourselves: why do we have to subtract value from ourselves in order to give credit to someone else? Insecurity is the cause of our bad math.
These are all SO TRUE. Why do we think just because another woman is (fill in the blank) it makes us less of a woman? Why do we ever feel the need to compare ourselves to anyone else? God made us exactly who we were meant to be, yet we’re never happy with His creation (ourselves).
I once heard Heather Dubrow (Real Housewives of Orange County) say that she decided from a young age that she didn’t need any else’s opinion. Can you imagine the freedom in that decision? To be that confident? It really is possible!
Here are a few of my ideas to help us boost our own confidence.
- Figure out the root of your insecurity. Is it your looks? Maybe it’s your weight? Perhaps it’s your intelligence. Whatever it is, figure it out. You can’t deal with something unless you know exactly what it is that you’re dealing with.
- Stop relying on other people’s assessment of you. Your worth is not based on what or how other people think of you. You have to break the chains of needing validation from others. The only opinion that matters is God’s opinion. Let go of the past hurts from words that crushed your self esteem. “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15
- Refuse to play the comparison game in all areas of your life. This has got to be the most damaging thing we women do to ourselves. You were not created to look or act like anyone other than yourself. You were created in God’s perfect image to be you. (Genesis 1:27)
- Realize that you are good enough. This one is easier said than done, I know. But you are good enough. You are pretty enough. You are smart enough. You are everything you put your mind to.
- Release yourself from the people pleasing. Chances are, you put way more pressure on yourself than anyone else does. Please God first. It’s that simple.
- Learn to think positively. When those annoying voices pop up in your head spewing all sorts of negativity, speak back with positivity. Many times, insecurity is a failure to trust God in our lives. Learn to turn over those nagging thoughts of no self-worth and low self esteem to God. God is a God of certainty. He never questions our purpose or our worth, so why do we?
- Learn to laugh it off and move on. Life is too short. Next time you make a mistake, learn from it, maybe even laugh about it, then move on with your life. Don’t dwell on it. It’s over, it’s in the past. Set your sights on the future.
If you found even the tiniest nugget of inspiration from this post, it makes the time I put into Hello Gorgeous beyond worth it. Honestly, writing this post was needed by me just as much as it was by you if you struggle with this issue. Learning to be confident is a journey. Security is valuable and anything that has value is worth working towards. I’m working towards being a more secure and more positive woman.
Please take a moment to leave me a comment and let me know if you too struggle with this issue. I know that I’m not alone. If this touched your heart and you want to see more Girl Talk Tuesday posts like this one, be sure to let me know!
What I’m Wearing:
10 Symptoms I’ve Experienced Coming Off Birth Control
Today’s post is not your typical fashion blogger post… I’m venturing into the land of hormones. Or “hormonees” as Voula would say in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” Love that movie!
Many of you know that I suffer from endometriosis. I’ve had it most likely since puberty, but wasn’t diagnosed until my 20’s. After my first laparoscopy surgery, my surgeon advised my only option to keeping the endometriosis at bay was to start birth control. So that’s exactly what I did. I had one more surgery after the initial, but other than that, the endometriosis hasn’t reared it’s ugly head.
Fast forward 7 years after beginning birth control, to this past January. I was experiencing migraine headaches as often as two times per week. My current OBGYN said we had no choice but to stop the birth control, he feared that I may stroke from the combination of the medication and the migraines. So that’s what we did.
I’m sharing the changes I’ve seen in my body since coming off birth control on the off chance that some of my Gorgeous readers are preparing to go through the same experience. This way, you can see what I’ve experienced personally and hopefully either prep you for what’s ahead or maybe feel a little better that you’re not alone. Obviously, I’m not a doctor. This is just what I’ve personally gone through and what has happened to my own body. If you have questions regarding your health or symptoms, be sure to contact your medical provider immediately.
A little background, I first started on Reclipsen and took this oral contraceptive for just over four years. I started experiencing some breakthrough bleeding and my OBGYN switch me to Yaz (I think). I last all of about 2-3 months on this stupid pill. It gave me horrible acne, mood swings and overall made me feel like crap. He then switched me to Nuvaring, which I stayed on up until this past January.
My 10 Symptoms after Coming off Birth Control:
- Acne. Just so I’m clear, I’ve never had acne before in my life. I skipped that stage in my teenage years. I would get an occasional pimple here or there, specifically around/during my period. But nothing more than that. Now? Oh man, now I have regular zits in my hairline and chin. Apparently those two areas are the hormonal break out zones. I get the annoying little under-the-skin bumps as well as the cystic, nasty, need a cortisone shot monsters.
- Blackheads. This would normally be lumped in with acne, but because I have so many, it needs to be it’s very own category. I’ve always had normal blackheads around my nose. Now I have them in excess everywhere. Even in my eyebrows. How does that even happen?!
- Bacne. Again, should be lumped in with acne, but this one is also so major it needs it’s own category. I’ve never had a pimple, white head, blackhead, NOTHING on my neck or back in my life. The clear back days are a distant memory for me. At first I was literally covered from the nape of my neck to my tailbone. Now it’s just mainly around my shoulders. Even though it’s less, it’s still gross. I was getting multiple cystic acne spots on my back that freaking HURT. So painful and not pretty to look at. Of course this nastiness was at it’s all-time worst during summer. And why wouldn’t it be? My open-back tops were kept to a minimum.
- Oil. As a teenager, I had oily skin. But that seems to be the norm. In my 20s, my oiliness evened out. Now the oil is back with a vengeance. My face could easily be considered an oil slick those first few months after birth control. Now, it’s evened out a bit, but still oilier than it was before.
- Oily hair. I’ve always been able to go days in between washing my hair. My hormones decided to pay me back. At first, I didn’t link my oily hair to birth control. I couldn’t understand why all of a sudden, my hair needed to be washed almost every day, when my whole life I washed is 2 times per week. Even dry shampoo wouldn’t hold it over, it had to be washed at least every other day.
- Hair loss. It’s normal to shed hair every day. I know this. But the amount of hair I lose now is insane. My hair is noticeably thinner around my temples. My hair is everywhere. It sheds and I don’t even know it. Talk about annoying. Oh and my baby hairs? It’s as if I grew a new set of bangs overnight. I can’t decide if this is new growth or breakage. Either way, my body somehow missed the memo that my bang days were over in the 7th grade.
- Painful periods. I forgot what cramps were for the most part. Coming off birth control was a stark reminder of what life was like every single month in high school. I mean, I still had cramps even on birth control, but not the “call 911” type of cramps. They haven’t been quite that bad, but definitely worse than I’ve experienced in the past 7 years. I also noticed that my periods stayed on calendar with the same cycle I had while on the pill. I asked my doctor why I didn’t see a change and his response was that my body has changed since I first started the medication 7 years ago.
- Headaches. This one is a major praise. Up until last week, I didn’t have a single migraine in 7 months. When I did get headaches, they were minor and rarely needed even a single Advil. I had my first migraine last week, but I was able to link it back to a new supplement I took (which states the side effect may be migraines) so I immediately stopped taking it.
- Ovulation. I forgot that my body did that. After birth control, you are harshly reminded that this happens every month. The cramps were almost as bad my first few months after the pill as period cramps were. And man oh man, did I get breast pain during this monthly window. I’d never in my life experienced breast pain before this.
- Sense of smell. At first, I thought I had to be pregnant. At certain times of the month, smells would make me so nauseous. I remember being in a car in New York back in March early in the morning. We had driven by a restaurant that was serving breakfast and I thought I was definitely going to vom over the egg smell. Matt thought I was off my rocker, but I couldn’t get the odor out of my nasal passages for miles. It was horrible. Even still, I’ll smell something that will literally smack me in the face and make me feel so sick, but no one else will notice it. And no, I’m not currently pregnant.
After all that complaining, the absence of my migraines makes all of the pain the butt symptoms worth it. Beyond worth it, actually. Migraines were ruling my life. Now they’re in the past, which is exactly where I plan to keep them.
How about you? What symptoms did you or are you experiencing after coming off birth control? Did you experience something I did? Or maybe everything I did? Or did you experience something totally different than I did? I’d love to hear from you! Also, let me know if I should do an updated post about what products I tried throughout this acne journey I’ve been on.
Sanctuary Army Girl Shirt Dress (ON SALE! 52% OFF!) // B-Low the Belt Waist Belt // Booties // Zac Posen Eartha Handbag // Kendra Scott Blake Cuff Bracelets // Crossover Ring // Baublebar Link Bracelet // Anine Bing Lace Bralette
Photos by Valorie Darling Photography.