GIRL TALK

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7 Ways You’re Ruining Your Relationship | GTT

Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous.

Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis.
Angela Lanter – Hello Gorgeous.

Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous. Winter Outfit I love: Blue Lace Peplum top, White Skinny Jeans, Steve Madden Over the knee boots, and Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis. Angela Lanter - Hello Gorgeous.

Welcome back to Girl Talk Tuesday.  Last week we kicked off GTT for 2017 with the first part of my new love series.  Today we’ll be looking at 7 different ways you’re possibly ruining your relationship.

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

7 Ways You're Ruining Your Relationship Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Love and marriage are my favorite subjects to talk about (other than fashion and beauty, duh).  I’ve read many books about marriage (see this post for some inspiration) and have now been married for almost four years.  I’m not a relationship expert by any means.  I just thought I’d shared some experience that I’ve gained throughout my relationships on what not to do.

Maybe you’ll see yourself in one or some of these love faux pas.  If that’s the case, my hope is that you will recognize these behaviors or patterns in yourself and snap out of it.

7 Ways You’re Ruining Your Relationship:

  1. You mother him.  Listen up, ladies…  Your man doesn’t need another mom.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t love on him or spoil your man.  What it does mean is that you don’t have to monitor his every move.  You don’t have to check up on him to make sure he’s doing whatever it is that he’s supposed to be doing.  He’s a grown man.  Let him feel and act like one.
  2. You nag him.  My general rule of thumb for nagging is this: asking once is expected.  Asking twice is a reminder.  Asking three or more times, you’re a nag.  I can hear you arguing with me through your screen right now saying, “But Ang, you don’t know my husband…”  Oh girl, I do.  I have one.  Sometimes I have to ask 10 times.  Other times, I pick my battles and let. it. go.  That’s the take away here…  Decide what’s really important and let the not-so-important stuff go.
  3. You use tears to manipulate.  This one is BAD.  Technically, any form of manipulation is bad, but turning on the waterworks to get what you want is the worst.  I’m not talking about crying when you’re really hurt.  I’m referring to those times when you aren’t getting anywhere in an argument or certain situation, so you resort to tears because you know you’ll get what you want.
  4. You whine when you don’t get your own way.  It’s never easy to see things not go your way.  The way you handle these situations says a lot about your character.  Being a sore loser of an argument makes things tough on everyone involved.  A gracious loser never really loses because she has a positive outlook regardless of the outcome.
  5. You talk bad about him to others.  This is my #1 no-no.  Never run to your mom or girlfriends with fresh wounds from a fight with your man.  You know why?  You’ll kiss and make up.  You’ll forgive, forget and move on with your life.  Others don’t share your same love for him.  They won’t forget the hurt he caused you.  They will keep a scorecard.  You and your man need to mutually select a handful of likeminded people who are your safe places to go to for counsel when problems arise.  These people need to always have your marriage held in the highest regard.  Your true friends will care more about your marriage than they will about your feelings.
  6. You talk down to him.  No one likes to be spoken to in a condescending manner or tone.  Yet, we find ourselves speaking more unkindly to those closest to our hearts than we would a perfect stranger.  Just because he’s your constant, doesn’t mean you suddenly get to disregard his feelings.  I listened to a podcast today about this book and it’s now on my must-read list.  Next time you start to speak or respond in a negative way, try to stop yourself and choose to find the positive in the situation.  Purpose to be sweet to your man, even when he doesn’t deserve it.  When you consistently make this choice, I can almost promise that it will eventually rub off on him.  Try returning anger with kindness.  The angry/bitter cycle has to stop somewhere.  Decide to have it stop with your kind words.  Bottom line: give him respect and he’ll give you love.
  7. You stop trying.  We as women often complain that our men worked so hard to get us, but now that they have us, they don’t try anymore.  If we’re being 100% honest here ladies, are we really still trying?  This is going to look different for all of us.  Some of us used to get dressed up and totally glammed when we were first dating.  Some of us spoiled our boys like crazy.  We found out what they loved and we did those things because we wanted them.  Basically, we loved them and pursued them by speaking their love language.  When we get comfortable in relationships, we get busy and life gets in the way.  The things that were so common in the beginning of your relationship now become the things we do on special occasions.  We don’t get to choose how someone loves us, but we can teach them how we want to be loved by loving on them.  Lead (love) by example, even when life gets in the way, and your relationship will flourish.

Please leave a comment below with a tip or two that you’ve learned to help prevent disaster in relationships.  Or if you have struggled with one of these points mentioned above, leave a comment and let me know.

Photography by Kara Coleen.


What I’m Wearing:

Lace Peplum Top (ON SALE 40% OFF)  //  Hudson Skinny Jeans  //  Steve Madden OTK Boots  //  Louis Vuitton Pochette Metis

Shop This Look:

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Girl Talk Tuesday: My Most Awkward First Date

Being that we’re only one month away from Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be the perfect time to start a love series on Girl Talk Tuesdays.  First up in this series, I’m sharing my most awkward first date experience.

Girl Talk Tuesday My Most Awkward First Date Ever Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

If you know me personally, you’d know that I’m naturally just an awkward person.  I’m that girl who trips on the red carpet and falls flat on my face in front of a crowd of people….  Yep, I’ve actually done that one before.  I also somehow always manage to spill something on myself every time we go out to dinner.  When you hear the words, awkward first date, coming from me, you’d think that the awkwardness would 100% be on my side…  Surprisingly, in this instance it wasn’t me, and trust me, I’m a horrible first date.

Girl Talk Tuesday My Most Awkward First Date Ever Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday My Most Awkward First Date Ever Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday My Most Awkward First Date Ever Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

In my opinion, all first dates are awkward.  You don’t know what to talk about or how to act.  You’re both nervous, so neither of you are really acting like yourself.

A first date can go bad for many reasons.  It could be that you got cat-fished and your date shows up looking nothing at all like their profile photo.  Or it could be something as simple as there’s just no chemistry.  I had a first date, right before I met Matt, that went pretty darn good…  Until the guy texted me the next day that he needed to poop and didn’t have any toilet paper.  Huh?  Listen, I’ll be the first one to die laughing over some good potty humor… But not on the first date.  I mean, what are we, 12 years old?  Men are supposed to be on their very best behavior at first, so when they’re letting their crazy/weird/gross show that early on…  Run for the hills, ladies!

Let’s take a trip down memory lane to, “Angela: The College Years.”

My cousin (and BFF), Martina and I went to college together and scheduled our classes around the same lunch hour during our freshman year.  At some point during our lunches, we started to notice a really good looking guy who we nicknamed, “Hot Boy.”  Honestly, neither of us can even remember what his real name was now, lol!

One day, during lunch, Hot Boy came over and initiated a conversation with Martina and I.  We quickly found out that he was a model (totally made sense, you don’t even know) and he seemed like just a really nice guy, based off our 3 minute conversation.  Long story short, after we all hung out at a party, he finally asked me out.  I was on cloud nine.

In hindsight, the only thing I knew about Hot Boy, was that he was, well, hot.  My only reason to be excited to go out with him was the way he looked…  Totally shallow, but I guess that’s what crushes usually are, superficial.

When I got to the restaurant for our date, I was so nervous.  Like weirdly-shaky kinda nervous.  Those nerves quickly calmed and were replaced with first confusion and eventually sheer boredom.  Hot Boy was a newly reformed model after being an overweight teen, he explained.  Once he got in shape, he realized he was model material…  He went on and on and on about his good looks.  I was bored to death and couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  I’d rather have watched paint dry then go on a second date with him.  He honestly had the personality of a wet mop.  No jokes, no flirting, just story after story about his body and his looks.

Listen, Hot Boy was a nice guy, he wasn’t rude and weirdly, he wasn’t even cocky.  He had no clue how he sounded, I think he really was just excited about his new modeling career.

Moral of the story: don’t judge a book by its cover.  Just because a guy is attractive doesn’t mean he’s the total package.  It may take a million bad first dates, but they’re all worth it once you’ve met the one.  To all my single ladies out there, don’t settle.  Wait for Mr. Right.  He’s out there.

Oh, and about Matt and my first date?  I lived up to my true self.  I was totally awkward.  We met at Starbucks in North Canton, OH to have coffee together and I wouldn’t even order a drink because I was so incredibly nervous that I knew I’d spill it on myself.  So we had a coffee date where Matt had to drink coffee by himself.  But clearly it worked out for us. 😊

So tell me, what was your worst first date?  Leave a comment below and tell your story!


What I’m Wearing:

150 150 Angela Lanter

13 Christmas Date Night Ideas | Girl Talk Tuesday

One of my favorite things about Christmastime is the traditions that Matt & I have.  Over the years, we have created date night traditions that we both look forward to.  There’s something especially romantic about Christmastime.  For today’s Girl Talk Tuesday, I’m sharing some of my favorite Christmas date night ideas.  Several of these aren’t Christmas specific, so they can also be incorporated into the following winter months.  Most of these date nights are either free or fairly reasonable, so anyone on any budget can enjoy!

Christmas Date Night Ideas Girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

Christmas Date Night Ideas Girl talk tuesday angela lanter hello gorgeous

Christmas Date Night Ideas:

  1. Christmas lights tour.  Who doesn’t love looking at Christmas lights?  Most big cities have neighborhoods that deck themselves out for fun every Christmas.  In LA, we have several neighborhoods that we visit each year, such as Candy Cane Lane in Woodland Hills or Christmas Tree Lane in Alta Dena.  We like to turn on our favorite classic carols and sip hot cocoa while we enjoy the lights.
  2. Bake/Decorate Christmas cut-out cookies.  Matt and I love to decorate cut-out cookies.  I guess it’s the adult version of coloring?  It’s fun to see what creations you can come up with and compete with each other to see who can decorate the best cookie.
  3. Visit Disneyland.  I know not all of you live conveniently close to a Disney park, but chances are that you do live driving distance from some type of park or zoo that decorates for the holidays.  Yes, this is typically a family event…  But I think it’s good to treat your inner child to some fun kid-free (if you’re parents) once in a while.
  4. Build a snowman.  If you live in a snowy area, a fun date idea is to create a “Snowman kit” and take your hubby out to build a snowman together.
  5. Go sledding or tubing.  This one is for our Northerners too.  Matt and I went tubing last winter and had an absolute blast.  You feel like you’re 10 years old flying down the hill with the cold wind in your face.
  6. Christmas movies at home.  Another tradition Matt & I have is to cuddle up on the couch in front of the fire, watching our favorite classic Christmas movies.  We pop popcorn, put on our PJs and break out the cozy blankets.  See this blog post with our favorite Christmas classic movies.
  7. Christmas Eve candlelight church service.  I never grew up going to church on Christmas Eve because that was our big family party night.  Now that I’m in LA, we go to candlelight service every year on Christmas Eve and make a night of it.  We plan dinner out at a festive restaurant and come home and open one present each at midnight.
  8. Go iceskating.  This is one festivity you can partake in regardless of your location.  We have iceskating rinks pop up all over LA each Christmas and had so much fun going one year with our friends.
  9. Make a Christmas craft together.  Decorate Christmas ornaments or stockings to create a fun memory when you pull out that craft for years to come.
  10. See a Christmas show.  Local theaters always have holiday themed plays/ballets, musicals and concerts.  You can count that The Nutcracker will be playing in your town every year.
  11. Pamper your spouse.  After a long day of Christmas shopping, why not spoil yourselves with a spa night at home?  Pick up some holiday scented bath products and candles for a relaxing evening in.  Pamper your spouse with a massage or foot rub.
  12. Game night.  Prep some snacks (I love puppy chow!) and pull out your favorite board games for a cozy night in around the fire.
  13. Read a Christmas book together.  I love when Matt reads to me.  We sometimes choose a book and take turns reading chapters to each other at bedtime for a fun way to spend time together electronics-free.

What are your favorite Christmas or Winter date nights?  I love to hear ideas from you!  It’s the most wonderful time of the year to cozy up to your man.  Love really is in the air at Christmastime.


What I’m Wearing:

Button-up Shirt ($26; 7 different colors)  //  Cardigan  //  Ankle Jeans  //  Boots  //  Boot Socks

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