• March 14, 2017

How to Get Over a Breakup | Girl Talk Tuesday

How to Get Over a Breakup | Girl Talk Tuesday

150 150 Hello Gorgeous by Angela Lanter
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I’m tackling one more love topic in our special Girl Talk Tuesday series.  It’s not a happy topic.  In fact it’s a topic that most of us want to avoid at all costs…  Yet it’s something that most of us will experience at some point in our love lives…  Breakups.

If you’re like me, you’ve been through a breakup (or ten) in your life, and you have handled at least one of them all wrong.  It’s easy to let your emotions take over in these situations, I know.  But once the breakup happens, the hardest part comes…  Getting over it.

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Girl Talk Tuesday Angela Lanter Hello Gorgeous

Practical Tips of How to Get Over a Breakup:

  1. Allow yourself time to be sad.  I’m not talking months or years here, but I am talking about a reasonable amount of time to allow your heart to hurt.  I believe that a broken heart is some of the worst pain we humans endure.
  2. Don’t badmouth him.  While the wounds are fresh, your emotions are obviously maxed out.  This is not the time to tell anyone who will listen every bad thing he ever did…  Especially not his family or his friends.  Talk to your most trusted friends only.  Otherwise, keep the details private until you’re in a better place.
  3. Understand that each relationship is a learning experience.  It may not feel like it at first, but you learn something valuable from each relationship you’re in.  My aunt used to say that every guy I dated was a stepping stone to the right man.
  4. Focus on yourself.  After a breakup, there’s nothing you can say or do to change your ex.  The good news is that you can change yourself.  Use this time to evaluate where you are in life and work on who you want to become.
  5. Don’t Allow it to start bad habits.  Don’t allow yourself to get so depressed that you do things you normally wouldn’t do.  If you see yourself starting to pick up bad habits, check yourself before you wreck yourself.  Yes a carton of Ben & Jerry’s and a good cry will make you feel better in the moment…  Just don’t do it every single night.
  6. Put the reminders away.  Put away the photos and old shirts of his.  Don’t toss them just because you’re angry…  These are memories of a certain period of your life that you may just want to look back on one day (or not)…  But for now, find a box and pack them away, out of view.
  7. Turn off the sad songs.  Sometimes you need to wallow, I get it.  But once you’ve had your time to be sad, shut the sad music off.  Music has such a grasp on our emotions.  When I was in high school, my ex-boyfriend & my song was Brian McKnight’s “Back At One”.  When we broke up the first time, every time that song came on the radio it felt like my 15 year old heart was being ripped out of my chest.  It was a 3 minute long reminder of something that was over.  I had to learn that the second I heard that familiar tune, the station needed to be changed.
  8. Write.  Have too many emotions to deal with?  Trying writing them down.  Writing down how you feel then reading it back to yourself can sometimes be such a healing experience.

I’m a serial monogamist.  I’ve only ever been in serious relationships, so the breakups I’ve been through have been hard.  Every tough experience I went through shaped me into the woman I am today.  Remember that the pain you’re feeling, the situation you’re in, it’s all just a season.  Even when you feel like the world is crashing down around you, know that you are stronger than you realize.

If you’re going through a breakup, I understand how hurt you are.  I’ve found that in my breakups are the times that I learned to lean on God the most.  When I couldn’t see why I had to go through the hurt, He provided a comfort that I couldn’t get anywhere else.

Photography by Kara Coleen.


What I’m Wearing:

Lulu’s Lace Dress (also comes in black)  //  Valentino Rockstud Shoes; save pair (around $100)  //  Louis Vuitton wallet  //  Adhesive Bra

8 comments
  • knbasurto March 15, 2017 at 6:50 AM

    Thanks for your nice post. Last weeks post and this week post have helped me a lot. My boyfriend and I broke up two months ago and it still has been really tuff but I’m slowly seeing the light again. We were together for almost two and a half years and this was the guy I thought I was going to marry. How you said, we don’t understand right now why we have to go through these things but I know God has a better plan for me.

  • Michelle Johnson March 15, 2017 at 8:34 AM

    Great post Angela! Having gone through many tough breakups myself, I know how things can get bad. Your tips are spot on and will help many people know that they are not alone and it will just take some time.

  • Nikki March 15, 2017 at 11:01 AM

    This is a great post and last weeks definitely flowed right into this haha. I am a serial monogamist too…or cross my fingers was, because I have found the right man and am settled down. I definitely played into my emotions way too much and let myself wallow during break ups, but it only makes you feel worse. Luckily I have wonderful friends and we have always helped to cheer each other up and show one another that we are vibrant full of life and so much to offer. It’s funny though, because it was finding you on the internet before I really even knew about bloggers, that helped me end a bad relationship and move on easily from it. The things that have shaped you into the woman you are today have also enabled you to so easily help a lot of us other women.

    Xoxo Nikki
    http://www.thefashionableaccountant.com

  • Brittany Blackburn March 15, 2017 at 6:40 PM

    Wonderful post & advice, Angela! I’ve actually never been in a relationship to break up from. At 32, I could choose to look at it as victimizing, “What’s wrong with me?” “Why has God forgotten me?”, or I could choose to see God’s bigger plan. I choose that one. I really hope marriage is part of God’s plan, but if it’s not, I know I’ll be okay. I’m 90-95% there! (Most days! 😉) “You can’t expect to fall intimately in love with a man until you fall intimately in love with Jesus first.” -the youth pastor at my church

    • Stepheni March 15, 2017 at 11:04 PM

      Wow. This is so encouraging to me. Thank you Brittany for sharing. I’m 20 years old (turning 21 in 3 months) and have never been in a relationship in my life. Not even in high school or my three years so far in college. I’ve watched as my close friends and family members my age have dated, gotten married, had kids… and I’m on the sidelines cheering for them and being happy. Don’t get me wrong – I’m ecstatic for them, but I also wish it would be my turn soon. I just want to thank you for your encouraging post and the reminder to remember that God always has a plan – even when I don’t see it ☺ I love the quote by your youth pastor – I’m going to write that down and put it somewhere I can see it. God bless you!!

      • Brittany Blackburn March 16, 2017 at 8:10 AM

        I’m so happy you found encouragement from my words, Stepheni! I know all too well the pain and heartache of being lonely, but I also know the joy of trusting God and living His way. It’s tough at times, but I’ve seen the changes in my life when I seek Him first. Hang in there, you’re going to be okay!

  • Vivianne March 15, 2017 at 8:17 PM

    This dress is amazing!! Seriously looks so great on you! and so happy to receive the email notification about your new post! 🙂

  • Elsa March 16, 2017 at 5:27 AM

    I am right there at the very moment. Even if it was a short relationship, I really thought he was my Mister Right and that I would stay with him longer. And it is so hard to get over it and to feel better inside. I try to smile and look like I am happy but my heart is in pieces and I am really hurting a lot. I do not believe in God (sorry to say that to you who is a true believer). So I can not really rely on any reason. I just say myself it is the way things are meant to be.
    But breakups are hard and one of the most awful feeling of all.
    I hope I will get better soon, and finally find the right for me. The one who will love me inconditionally

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