• September 14, 2016

Marriage Books My Friends Love

Marriage Books My Friends Love

150 150 Hello Gorgeous by Angela Lanter
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chambray J. Crew button up and denim Zara midi skirt denim-on-denim fall outfit angela lanter hello Gorgeous

chambray J. Crew button up and denim Zara midi skirt denim-on-denim fall outfit angela lanter hello Gorgeous

chambray J. Crew button up and denim Zara midi skirt denim-on-denim fall outfit angela lanter hello Gorgeous

chambray J. Crew button up and denim Zara midi skirt denim-on-denim fall outfit angela lanter hello Gorgeous

chambray J. Crew button up and denim Zara midi skirt denim-on-denim fall outfit angela lanter hello Gorgeous

chambray J. Crew button up and denim Zara midi skirt denim-on-denim fall outfit angela lanter hello Gorgeous

 

Marriage is one of my favorite topics.  I love talking about it, learning about it and living it.  My Aunt Gina gave me my first book on marriage when I was in high school.  She said that we study for everything we do in life, except marriage.  It’s so true, just think about it…  We go to school to learn how to drive a car even!  Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you’ll make in life, so why wouldn’t you want to be good at it?!

My book collection has grown immensely since then (a lot in thanks to my Aunt Gina!)  I actually have several girlfriends who regularly borrow books and switch them out for new material.  I decided to reach out to some of my favorite blogger babes and see which books have impacted their marriages and why.  Just a disclaimer, I have not personally read every book recommended below.   I will put together another post soon with my personal favorites.

So let’s hear from some of my girlfriends!


Sazan Hendrix:  The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

“I loved “The Five Love Languages” because it taught us how to better communicate our love to each other through our individual love languages.  I loved learning about mine and also his!  It’s an easy read that will totally help strengthen your relationship even more!”

Lauren Scruggs Kennedy (LOLO Mag):  The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

“I am so glad I read “The Meaning of Marriage” before Jason and I got married because it gave me such a real vision of what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship.  It provided a genuine picture of the purpose of marriage, which was so nice to have stepping into it.  It also gave great insight and applicable ways to healthily handle conflict and gave instruction on how to communicate well.  It was so important for me to enter into this commitment with as much knowledge as I could so I can be the best wife I can be!”

Julie Solomon: “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

“The book that calls to my marriage the most is “Love & Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs!  I had the pleasure of handling the publicity of this book when it came out (when I was single) and learned so much even then.  I knew when I got married that I would need to apply this to my marriage, especially when we felt unloved and disrespected.  This book offers an in-depth study of why husband and wife communication styles are not wrong, just different.  Dr. Eggerichs uses his revolutionary message to crack the communication code between husband and wife: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her.  Based on Ephesians 5:33 and extensive biblical and psychological research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reveals the power of unconditional love and unconditional respect and how husbands and wives can reap the benefits of marriage that God intended.  He also holds marriage conferences throughout the year with his wife, Sarah, which are FANTASTIC!  His work is truly a vessel from God on how we should view, and practice, our marriage.”

Brittany Xavier (Thrifts and Threads): “How We Love” by Milan and Kay Yerkovich

“This is a book I was recommended to read at my bridal shower by my good family friend and Anthony and I got around to reading it together shortly after we were married.  We both really loved the insight it provides!  So much of how we relate to each other in our marriage stems from our early life experiences and understanding what the other person truly needs to feel loved is invaluable.”

Megan Runion (For All Things Lovely) // didn’t have a favorite marriage book, opted to give a piece of advice:

“One of my very favorite things that John and I have done since day one (almost 7 years ago) and the biggest piece of advice I would give anyone about marriage is: always try to out do your spouse.  Always.  It’s definitely not about the big things, or presents, it’s about the little things that make all the difference in your day to day life.  Whether it be waking up first and taking a cup of coffee to your spouse in bed, sending an encouraging or ‘thinking of you’ text message throughout the day, surprising him/her with having dinner ready when they get home, or simply helping out around the house.  Whatever it may be, if you are constantly doing nice & thoughtful things for your spouse, they will WANT to do the same for you.  It’s something that seems so easy.  I mean, we’ve all heard the Golden Rule all of our lives, but it can be hard somedays to want to do all of those things.  However, it makes all the difference when it’s being done for you.  Give it a try, I promise it will change your relationship for the better!”

Sheridan Gregory (Blue Eyed Finch):  “For All Eternity” by Dr John Lund:

“This book was literally a saving grace for me & my husband!  We both were awful at communicating before we met & this completely changed how we approach different situations & our overall consideration of each others feelings & perspectives.  We recommend this to every couple we know because we loved it that much!”

I couldn’t create this post without including my very best friend, Megan Wayman.  If you’re an OGG (Original Gorgeous Girl) then you remember this post on Valentine’s Day shortly after I launched Hello Gorgeous.  Megs and I have talked each other through many disagreements with our hubbies.  I believe that it’s so important to have at least one solid girlfriend in your life who always sees the bigger picture…  That your marriage is more important than whatever you’re fighting about.  Megs and I have called each other our “accountability partners” since high school, and the title couldn’t be any truer.  Megan included some awesome marital advice in addition to her favorite book.

Megan Wayman: “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Leman

So a couple years into my marriage, I asked for a book for Christmas and you know how family members exchange gift ideas to each other?  Yea well…  My mother-in-law ended up being the one to buy me the book I wanted.  She had no clue it was all about her daughter-in-law getting laid by her son…  Awkward.  This book is not for the faint of heart.  It’s blunt and to the point and tackles some major issues that Christian marriages face.  It’s an encouragement and a reminder that God created sex and He intended it to be pleasurable.  When you’re married, there’s nothing wrong with making sweet music in between the sheets!

A little more marital wisdom from Megs:

Oh boy! Oh boy! This is my favorite topic – Marriage!!

This is my GO-TO when I want to know what marriage is supposed to look like and what I want to strive for in my own marriage. Ephesians 5:22-33, “22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” Woah, woah, woah! SUBMIT? A record just squeaked. I’ve stopped right there in the scripture and said, “Nope, not today!”, but let’s keep going.  “23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Ok, so does this slightly rub any of you women the wrong way? I mean at first glance, let me be totally honest, the only words I really see are SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND…IN EVERYTHING.  You know that “Oh Crap” emoji with the really wide eyes? Can you visualize that? That’s my face right now. Don’t give up. Here’s where it gets good for us ladies, moving on to verse 25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” Wow! Last I checked, Christ loved the church (you and me) so much that he died in the most painful way for it. Now I’m imagining my smoking hot husband in a suit of shining armor ready to defend me to his death because he loves me so much. My heart is softening up now and I’m the emoji with hearts for eyes. But seriously, imagine that kind of love. This passage goes on to say, “28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself.” That’s pretty serious. One of my character flaws is I’ve always considered myself sort of selfish, which is why the old adage “treat people how you want to be treated” has struck a chord for me. If I truly treated my husband the way I want him to treat me, if I took care of him with the same respect and care that I take care of my own body… I’d be getting action on the regular! (Just kidding) It would be easy to “submit” to his role in our marriage because I would have all the confidence he is loving and taking care of me the way Christ intended him to.  Men need to feel respected by their wife, and women need to feel loved by their husband. God paints such a beautiful picture of “Happily Ever After” when he mirrors marriage to Christ and his bride, which is the church.  Marriage should be equal submission: Husband to wife and wife to husband. Take time to read this whole passage on your own.


What is your favorite book about marriage?  I have so many that it’s going to take some major brain power to narrow it down to a small list.  I also want to do a little more reading on my own before I make my suggestions!

Photos by Kara Coleen.

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12 comments
  • Vivianne September 15, 2016 at 10:56 AM

    Loved this Angela! Do you have any book recommendations for Christian singles? Dating in this age while trying to hold on to godly values is hard!

    • Angela Lanter September 15, 2016 at 12:42 PM

      Yay! I’m so glad you liked it! 🙂
      I started really reading marriage books as a single so I could start working towards becoming the wife my future husband would want and need. I loved “5 Love Languages” and “For Women Only”, for starters. Honestly, I love so many books, it’s hard to narrow it down!
      My favorite book for singles is, “When God Writes Your Love Story” by the Ludy’s. It’s been years since I read it, but I remember it having such an impact on me!

  • Rachel M September 15, 2016 at 12:07 PM

    I loved this post! As a licensed marriage & family therapist, I 100% love the suggestion of the book on Love Languages. Every single couple i work with, we identify their love languages, and i even share my own with my husband. They are an amazing tool, it’s fun to learn, and can really clear up unnecessary feelings of doubt, disrespect, or being unloved. The best part? It can also be adapted to family members! 🙂

    • Angela Lanter September 15, 2016 at 12:44 PM

      Thanks Rachel! I love that you’re an expert in this field and took the time to bless us with your insight! I believe that the love languages are a very real thing and every couple should take the time to learn their spouse’s and their own! 🙂

  • Lena B. September 15, 2016 at 1:19 PM

    aaahhh thank you Angela!! I loved this post just like all your other ones! 🙂 It is refreshing to see women building each other up in marriages/ friendships and encouraging one another in our walk with the Lord! Blessings!!

  • Erin September 15, 2016 at 3:32 PM

    Thanks for this post I can’t wait to read some of these books!I have never read 5 love languages but my Church did classes on it and I found it so helpful with marriage ever one has there own love language and how they feel appreciated.

  • Rachel September 17, 2016 at 8:43 PM

    My husband and I read Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas when we were first married 6 years ago, and it really shaped the way we view marriage. We still refer back to it to this day and recommend it to everyone we know. The subtitle, “What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” is definitely a challenging one, especially in a culture that pushes “happiness” as the ultimate goal. But I would dare to say, seeking holiness within our marriage has certainly given has a very happy marriage 🙂

    • Angela Lanter September 21, 2016 at 9:51 AM

      I have to check that one out!! I have heard of “Sacred Marriage” but I haven’t read it yet. I’m so exciting for this recommendation, thank you! xo

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